#but nobody put any thought into your current system and it makes no sense

[twilightmalachite]

Kanna Natsu Mini Talk - Audition VS GLADIATOR -Fourth piece-

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Although there are various methods of input, such as using a PC, smartphone, or voice input... Handwriting is absolutely necessary."

How to Fill Out a Form

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Spring

Location: ES Building Lounge

Kanna: Anzu-san, perfect timing.

I'm currently working on filling out the necessary information on a profile sheet for the audition.

Does this really have to be handwritten?

💬 I guess they'd like it to be handwritten

Kanna: Seems to be the case. Although there are various methods of input, such as using a PC, smartphone, or voice input... Handwriting is absolutely necessary.

...It's so viewers can get a sense of an idol's personality from their handwriting?

I see it now, it's what they call fan psychology. I've learned something.

💬 Would you prefer to use a PC?

Kanna: Yes, that is correct. It doesn't have to be a PC, a smartphone would suffice. ...Anything is fine as long as I can utilize inputs.

Writing by hand can result in mistakes, which would cause for everything to have to be rewritten on a spare form.

And those sorts of things are a hassle. So if possible, I'd like to utilize the tools of civilization.

Kanna: Now then, I've verified it must be handwritten, so I suppose I should fill out the content.

Receiving reminders to be sure not to submit things late is a hassle, so I think I will complete it early and get it out of the way.

...Speaking of, where will I be submitting this once I have completed it?

💬 If you're affiliated with an agency, then...

Kanna: So then the agency will compile the information and forward them to the audition management...

This is a problem. I am not affiliated with any agency, meaning I have nobody to compile this for me.

...You'll look into it for me, Anzu-san? Is that so, thank you very much.

💬 To the audition management, I guess

Kanna: Well, I'd figured that was my only option, as it was the management that asked me to fill it out...

Still, I didn't expect to have to send it over individually. I'd appreciate it if it could at least be compiled within ES.

But because I do not believe there are any other idols in my position... Could you look into this for me, Anzu-san?

Kanna: Phew. I've successfully finished filling out the form.

How I felt filling it out...? I don't know how to answer that. I answered each of the questions honestly, I don't particularly have any thoughts.

If anything, I would like to hear yours. Is the content here sufficient?

💬 Would you let me see?

Kanna: This is something that will be seen by many people. I didn't write anything that would cause me trouble if anyone saw it.

Although there was a section where I couldn't think of anything, so I wrote down "nothing in particular"...

Well, that also what you could consider my personality. Please do give it a look.

💬 Let's see...

Kanna: You like how the "my hashtag" section brings out my personality...?

Your positive evaluation puts me at ease. If you had said it was no good, I had felt that worst case scenario, I would have to rethink everything.

Now then, this is the content I'll be submitting. I am glad it went well.

[ ☆ ]

Here is The Arena

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Spring

Location: The Arena's Corridor

Kanna: Exploration of the facility is complete. A rough understanding of the judging system within The Arena has also been acquired.

In order to verify uncertain elements, it will be necessary to observe and survey the other participants, but...

I too am one of these "gladiators" summoned to this venue. I must ready myself for battle.

💬 Hello

Kanna: Yes, hello... Oh, it's Anzu-san?

I was wondering who would talk to me so casually despite being a participant, but it makes sense that it is you.

Are you patrolling as a judge of the audition? Thank you for all your hard work.

💬 Are preparations going well?

Kanna: I had not expected to meet you in a place like this, Anzu-san... No, you do have the role of a judge, don't you?

And so in accordance, you are in the midst of touring The Arena, aren't you?

Right, I will also answer the questions you had asked. In regard to preparations, I'm now in the process of procuring equipment.

Kanna: I do not know what it is like at the other venues, but this corridor in The Arena is a tad dim.

Well, I think equipping a venue where gladiators gather with fluorescent lighting would only ruin the atmosphere.

...Ah, there is a ledge there. Please watch your step.

💬 Thank you

Kanna: No, it wasn't meant to be a courtesy. I had calculated that if you had tripped there, you would have fallen towards me, Anzu-san.

And if you had, I would lack the physical strength to be able to catch you...

The best way to avoid danger is through precaution. Do be mindful of the props and such placed around

💬 You really have to watch where you walk, huh

Kanna: Indeed. There are ledges, chains sprawled across the floor, props placed all over...

And additionally, there is the dim lighting. It's in your best interest to remain somewhat attentive as you walk around.

I am care not to trip over anything as I explore around the venue. I cannot afford to trip and get hurt.

Kanna: ...Ah, excuse me. I was out of topics so I stopped talking.

Silence doesn't particularly bother me, but I'll be happy to answer any questions if you have them.

You may ask whatever questions you'd like, but I ask you to not expect interesting answers.

💬 I'd like to hear some enthusiasm

Kanna: I only am participating because I had been told my safety would be ensured, so I feel con-fuddled when asked what I am enthusiastic about.

But I do suspect there are mechanisms within The Arena I can utilize my brain for.

I hope I can unearth my own way of strategy and fighting. ...Is this the answer you were seeking?

💬 What did you do before going to bed last night?

Kanna: Hm. I anticipated a question about the audition, so this question was outside of my expectations.

I do not know how knowing what I did last night will benefit you, Anzu-san, but... I'll answer your question.

Last night, I went to bed early in preparation for the audition. As such, nothing in particular was done.

[ ☆ ]

[detectivenyx]

2022 IN REVIEW

2022 kind of mostly felt like an extension of 2021, which felt like an extension of 2020. y’know, conga line of This Pandemic Fucking Sucks, fighting against our mental health for our fucking life, feeling like the system is stringing us along for all we’re worth.

with that said? 2022 did not feel as bad as 2021.

for one, rather than multiple people stabbing me in the back, only one did this year! improvement! (somehow, nyx’s tone indicates both sarcasm and genuine belief). additionally, he stabbed us in the back so hard that literally nobody decent wants anything to do with him, and even some people that are absolutely terrible thought he was terrible. (granted, a couple of those people were hypocrites, but that’s neither here nor there, and since i know you’re still stalking me after an entire year because you lack any real hobbies, you’re both rape apologists and i hope you get smallpox).

for two, it was the year of me finally putting my foot down and deciding youtube would get the videos i wanted to produce when i wanted to produce them, instead of a long line of half-assed small meme videos. i still make the small meme videos, but when i want to make them, not when the One Week Since An Upload Deadline is looming over my head. i think im still in recovery mode, but given i have multiple larger scripts and The Hunted on the horizon - and making progress! - i think im on my way to being recovered and able to kind of return in a sense. when i do return, i’d like to do a bit of an overhaul to my channel - new avatar, new logo, new avatar, and possibly a new name? name changes are always going to be the hardest to push, since your name is your most recognizable branding. although, i have the feeling that the absolute ridiculousity we produce will be able to tip people off to it.

and for three, there’s the absolute conga line of conservative, right-wing assholes finally being told ‘no’ and facing some actual consequences - some dying, some being told to pay out millions in fines and debt. さようなら or whatever to shinzo ‘NO WAGE! ONLY BREED!’ abe, pip-pip cheerio to Her Grotesquecy elizabeth alexandria mary, and praying upon apollo to bestow me with the gifturse of prophecy for the other rich english bitch and may she get crushed by a bookcase to start 2023 or end 2022. may betty white’s passing to break our curse be a tale of incredible sacrifice and may she rest in peace.

there’s a long way to go and there’s a lot to do, but this year has been downright hopeful.

last year’s ‘year in review’ mentioned i would be no longer setting explicit resolutions for the new year for myself, and instead trying to ‘theme’ my years. This year was the Year of Creativity - and uh, i don’t know how much I succeeded in that regard. i certainly did some creative things, but because i spent a lot of the year in recovery mode and going through mental health assessment appointments, i couldn’t achieve the goal as much as i wanted to. but i did create some things, and so long as i did that, the year wasn’t a bust, despite removing a creative outlet (but it was tiktok, which was 1% creative to 99% timesink).

i did make a few things - a long-ish running au with a friend, that i may wind up making a (hidden) blog for in 2023 to kind of Goncharov it with, pretend it’s a long-running TV series with all my unhinged rambly thoughts on it. i also managed to finish some work on The Hunted, and it’s the year i decided to take up a pledge in regards to clothing (towards the end, but still): i would make my clothes. if i cannot make it, and i cannot afford to buy it from an independent seller or small business, i will not have it. i would rather focus on cultivating my own style than focusing on what is currently ‘trending’. currently, though, my style does seem to be aimed squarely 70-80 years in the past, towards the post-war 40s and 50s. and at edwardian and EGL fashion. just something that looks clean and crisp and well-made and flattering, rather than something trendy off shein that will fall apart in a few wears and may or may not have actual lead dyes in it.

that all constitutes making things - i think i only really considered the theme of the year towards the end of it, however. i said i’d try to get the prologue for The Hunted out by 2022, but that was before executive dysfunction, an entire hairdressing course, and several months of my dad getting even more bold with his abuse of me driving me into further dysfunction, kicking my ass - regardless, i’m still very sorry i didn’t hold true to that. i might be able to get it done by the end of 2023, but that’s still a massive Might.

additionally, towards the end of 2022, i began re-examining my place in the world - towards a community i’d tried time and time again to call home in the past two years, but couldn’t and constantly felt like an outsider. i made far too many concessions in what i should’ve let slide, just because i wanted to belong somewhere that wasn’t my computer desk. it was the kind of community that had been built up over years of gossip and backstabbing and kept alive via activism that was completely and utterly performative. in the end, i felt more isolated and outsider than ever. i often got referred to as my best friend’s “+1″ in the community and what was once a funny joke felt just. harrowing and unshakeable. and yet despite me being able to lay it out pretty easily now, i couldn’t figure out what the problem was for the longest time.

then i played monster prom 3 with a. an old uni friend, and b. my friends i’ve known for 8 years now. that blew the suitcase wide open.

when playing with them, i felt like i was actually included - part of a group. i felt listened to. i felt human again - a feeling that, since the pandemic began, between the parental abuse, the abuse by youtube, and now the exclusion of a community, had been so fleeting that i’d almost forgotten how it felt. and that, alongside a new social worker into gaming, actually helped me look back on the past and identify that i seem to thrive way more in gaming communities. the cosplay community in my local area is almost entirely anime-centric, which i have 0 interest in, and any attempt i’ve made to introduce my interests kind of just got ignored. i’m looking to, in 2023, join up with some local tabletop gaming communities, and just get more immersed into gaming - hoping to make more friends in that area. it’ll likely wind up being cheaper too, so i can focus on sewing as well - i still love cosplay, but i think it’s time to retire as a public cosplayer who posts about it and return to the roots of ‘i just like dressing up :D’.

i think that clears up 2022 in review, so the next post is 2023′s yearly theme.

[a-girl-called-bob]

If you pose a question in the first sentence and you neither meaningfully answer it nor link to something that meaningfully answers it, have you written a good post?

Gesturing to the people in your movement and saying that the current system perpetuates violence does nothing to answer the substantive question. Saying that the current system does not answer this question either DOES NOT ANSWER THIS QUESTION. Abolitionist thought 'has meaningful answers' according to your FAQ - these meaningful answers should've been the first AND ONLY answer to this question, with none of the pontification included.

What does it say about the abolition movement that this question is a perennial stumbling block which every abolitionist is trained to respond to with a knee-jerk 'that's what they all say' but when pressed to actually answer they all fall back on 'read the literature'? Is the concept of transformative justice so dense and esoteric that nobody can provide a succinct, broad overview in a couple of paragraphs?

So, what are those answers? Based on a cursory skimming of the material - which, as someone who's broadly interested in the movement, I will be reading in more depth in the future - the proposed solutions seem to involve:

Violence de-escalation training taught with a similar or better level of ubiquity to first aid

A level of community cohesion that would support the development of tailored procedures and tools for handling interpersonal violence in the community

People who do harm, commit violent acts, in the community are still members of the community; thus, the community needs to work with the perpetrators of harm in order to understand the conditions that led them to act and make those conditions better - a transformative sort of justice

What I have yet to find in my hour or so of digging is *any* conceptualization of what that community support looks like, what sitting down with a rapist and trying to convince them not to rape anymore looks like. Which, it's hard to conceive of in the theoretical, but considering these are writings from people who've been in communities trying this stuff, you'd think they'd include anecdotes or case studies showing what that's like in practice. Or maybe those exist and I just haven't found them yet.

Every abolitionist whose writing I've read seems to fall into a similar rhetorical trap, where their concept of society is so centered on the thing they seek to destroy that you get the sense that all violence, all assault, all of those things that harm one another, exist in society because of prisons. That given ideal societal conditions, nobody would ever feel the need or want to cause harm to someone else. If you put it that way, they'd scoff and say you're putting words in their mouths, or they'd bluster and say 'well, a lot of it is', and they wouldn't be wrong on either account. But they tend to give off that sort of impression, which is PRECISELY why they keep getting badgered with questions about rapists and killers and folks who Just Do Crime for No Reason.

But the thing is, the answer is complicated, and if you outright say, 'no, we're not removing people who commit sexual assault from society - we're actually not removing anyone from society, you see,' then a vast proportion of otherwise-allies who haven't yet done the reading will immediately and irreversably balk, and your coalition is dead before it can even breathe. But then, most people don't read theory.

The prison abolition movement cannot go mainstream until there is a simple (ideally one-sentence), rhetorically effective motto that can be deployed in response to this type of question. If *this* is the best that can be done, we've got a long road ahead of us.

What is your suggestion for rapists and murderers tho? If they shouldn't go to prison what should be done with them?

“One topic that almost immediately comes up anytime abolition is under discussion is what will be done about violent or harmful actions, especially people who enact sexual violence or violence against children; there seems to be a common concern that a post-abolition world will have no way of preventing or addressing harm, or that violence against women and children will be accepted as an inevitable price to pay for a world without prisons.

It feels important to me in those conversations to point out that abolitionist movements have and are still heavily led by Black women, a demographic that experiences disproportionately high levels of violence in general and sexualized and gendered violence in particular. It seems at best misguided and at worst undermining to imagine that Black women, of all people, would create a framework that forgets or doesn’t understand such a major element of lived experience.

To that end, two things. First, the prison industrial complex as it stands is a powerful and unchecked site of sexualized violence, not an antidote to it; rarely, if ever, does the justice system actually address rapists or pedophiles, and when it does, they are not prevented from causing harm, but moved into a prison system to cause harm to a caged population of people.

Prevention of sexual violence is one of the most important reasons to dismantle the prison-industrial complex, as sexual violence against incarcerated people is rampant and unmitigated, as is sexual violence enacted by the police; it’s the second most common type of police misconduct reported. Do you know any survivors of sexual harm who have been healed by the prison industrial complex? Is it effectively addressing this harm now? If not, what is actually lost by ending it? What could be gained by imagining understandings of “consequences” that don’t include prisons?

Second, abolitionist thought is not only very aware of the reality of violence and has considered the need to address harm, including gendered and sexualized harm, but has worked hard to imagine meaningful ways of preventing, addressing, and healing harm and violence outside of frameworks of punishment and cages. Living in a carceral culture, it can feel impossible to imagine that there can be meaningful consequences for harm without a criminal justice system; abolition asks you to try.

Abolitionists have done enormous amounts of work to provide potential answers to what it would look like to address these things without prisons, and provided resources and actionable toolkits and guides on making them a reality.” — Police and Prison Abolition 101: A Syllabus and FAQ

[the-firebird69]

There are a lot of things happening one of them is the storm is heading north west and do northwest it would hit Northern Florida with the eye it is going to head north the ship is not launched if at lunch now in a few hours the current will change and it would wipe across the southern portion of the islands but if during the next couple days it launches the storm is going to head to Florida. Right now they're trying to work on trying to find out what's inside the ships and they're working on it now. They're looking at the stone chips and they don't see anything in there of interest there's a few compartments in your checking they're checking to figure out what's on the Black ships and they're trying to figure out what happened to the two stars what their horrified by is it might be that he destroyed them and we won't have a window of opportunity to say it disabled the computer it will be a problem and the clones are being attacked fiercely we think it's by the computer and we need to know that they say because the computer could be taking over the underworld these guys aren't so Swift and they're moving to find that out. The max dispatched agents all over the world and again information on what the clones did they're investigated what happened and they're finding out it might be abysmal and it took a long time for them to get their stuff together but people are in the way in armies and now the warlock are occupied with the clones and it's given a window and they're both kind of responsible and are sick and it's going on now Tommy f is saying he got what he needed and her son and daughter say he probably fell for a roof doesn't have the technology and he's actually not feeling too good about it and it was the last lie that David Carol told and it was in westborough and they died because of it fully we think that they were entombed in Alexander and the Earth shifted and they died and it might be an accident and some say it's not and that's the Max and we believe them it's going to be hell these clothes will soon be declared the most wanted people in history for putting everybody in Jeopardy including Tommy f will be wanted and it's going to be gigantic none of these clones Will survive

Thor Freya

It's a huge day for us we thought we did the right thing and this guy saying probably not and will and Bill say probably not and it's really well and Bill who was held information because they had to nobody if they're race would tell us not in the million years unless we question them and it was our responsibility to question them because it was down all three of them were saying you're probably not right and now we are facing it and it does not look good we'll probably all die we want to tell you we tried and the empire is taking it back using this regrettable sin which may have only cost us 2 minutes it might not matter and it led to the weapon system which may not have come out

Clones

We now see your purpose and what you're saying is a lie if we crack the code it will go down a lot easier and we wouldn't have to fight all this hardware and it is a trap of some sort and as our friend said you could give one message and then it goes full autonomous and probably 90% of the hardware so we don't like what we're hearing and it's probably lies we know it's a lie we interrogated you and said you get more than 2 minutes maybe a year or shut the whole thing down and Dave knows how to do it because he built it then you said he had to go because he had to mix it up a little and it doesn't make any sense what you're saying did not make sense and then you said you couldn't handle Dave and that made sense so now we're going after you because we have ways to doing that and people know that there are ways to do it especially the three they don't like you for it because they're inventors and engineers and you're sick

Mac

We could have asked them but they wouldn't tell us anything and we couldn't get to them and we can't get to him and he says he doesn't know the half of it compared to the two big guys so we're going to go round and round but it's actually true

Big Hawaiian

I'm speaking here and this is terrible people are accusing us of this crime and they haven't researched it properly

Tommy f

Yes we did and we saw you putting them in there and we saw your transport them over because we all followed you and you kept them there and you're an evil person and you're dead meat

Mac

We do concur that he has to die and he did this because his clones need to die and he's a traitor to them that's why the clone is speaking up he's a criminal and he needs to be apprehended tortured interrogated and burned

Thor Freya

We do intend on doing that and we must he's an actual threat to just about everybody comes in contact with

Macs

We need to go after him now

Olympus

[tanadrin]

Notes on the Taurahe Language

by Loremaster Surazh Sher'an, of the Royal Society of Silvermoon

Published in the Journal of the Royal Society, in the 6853th Year of the Sun and 5th year of the Regency (619 K.C., 27 A.O.D.P.)

Since the Third War and the reestablishment of diplomatic and trade contacts with the peoples of the western continent of Kalimdor, several new frontiers in natural philosophy have been opened up to the scholars of our Society, in areas botanical, historical, thaumaturgic, and, not least of all, linguistic. Though the tongues of the Eastern Kingdoms have been well-covered in the scholarly literature, and even those of Draenor have had several monographs published on them since the Second War[1], the languages of Kalimdor remain woefully understudied. The most tentative work relating Thalassian to the Darnassian languages has been undertaken[2], but of the other Kalimdorean tongues, nothing substantial has been written.

In the interest of attempting to make my own modest contribution to the study of the Kalimdorean tongues, I would like to offer the following preliminary analysis of a language entirely unstudied by our loremasters at present and, I believe, spoken nowhere in Quel'Thalas, and in precious few places in the Eastern Kingdoms. I refer, of course, to Taurahe, the tongue of the Shu'halo, or, as they are known to outsiders, the Tauren. The Taurahe language is most interesting, being related neither to the tongues of Draenor nor of the Easter Kingdoms, and seeming to have no antecedent in any of the ancient mother-tongues of Azeroth, like Proto-Troll, Proto-Vrykul, or Ancient Kalimdorean. Furthermore, it is a language currently in flux, insofar as the way of life of the Shu'halo has changed enormously since the arrival of the Orcs in Kalimdor and the incorporation of the Tauren into the Horde. Although I cannot capture either the complexity or dynamism of this language in a brief article, I hope to pave the way to more extensive future analysis.

1. Taurahe in Context

The Shu'halo are a tauroid race of bipeds, native to eastern Kalimdor. First encountered in the dry coastal regions around Bladefist Bay, in what is now Durotar, an alliance was formed between Warchief Thrall and Chieftain Cairne Bloodhoof of the Bloodhoof Tauren in 6833 YS, during the Third War. At that time, all Tauren clans[3] were nomadic; after the tumultuous events of the war and the defeat of Archimonde at Mount Hyjal, the Bloodhoof Tauren and a portion of the other clans settled at Thunder Bluff in Mulgore, with several satellite towns like Bloodhoof Village being founded nearby. Many seasonal Tauren campsites have been converted into permanent settlements, like the Crossroads and Camp Taurajo, facilitating trade with Durotar and supporting a larger population of Tauren.

Despite the adoption by some of a settled lifestyle, many Tauren remain nomadic or semi-nomadic, some for political reasons[4], others simply out of tradition[5]. Because of the hunting lifestyle of the Tauren, and the number of rites and rituals which center around hunting, the creation of permanent settlements and urban centers has not been widely welcomed in Tauren society. Much of the shift in Tauren culture is down to the charismatic leadership of Cairne Bloodhoof; though his authority nominally extends only over the Bloodhoof Tauren, he is highly regarded by the other Tauren clans, and holds considerable influence in Tauren society at large. It remains to be seen whether these new developments in Tauren society, and the importance of Thunder Bluff as a political and economic center, will outlast their chief architect.

As is to be expected, Taurahe vocabulary centers primarily around the historical Taurahe way of life: terminology of the natural world, of geography, travel, hunting, and hunting- and pathfinding-related technologies is quite extensive. The Tauren have traditionally been a shamanistic people, like the Orcs, and so have an extensive vocabulary of shamanistic and natural thaumaturgy. Lacking an understanding of the arcane, or of other planes, their vocabulary for arcane thaumaturgy is limited, and most of their vocabulary around these kinds of sorcery has been borrowed from Orcish and, more recently, Thalassian. Of some influence also has been the Night Elven tongue[6], since the Tauren have a long history of intermittent contact with that people. Almost all vocabulary related to metalworking, alchemy, wheeled conveyance, shipbuilding, and large-scale warfare is directly borrowed from Orcish, with a small subset of loanwords from the language of the Darkspear Trolls.

Taurahe is not a unified language; each sub-clan has its own dialect, resembling most other dialects within their clan, as clans have historically tended to migrate together and to maintain close ties in marriage and trade. Any clear geographical distribution of the dialects has been substantially confused by many centuries of migration, and the spreading of various features and loanwords between migratory clans and sub-clans. Even so, not all forms of Taurahe are mutually intelligible; furthermore, the prestige form of the language has often varied according to the internal politics of the Tauren clans, with the emergence of a preeminent leader or tribe altering the lingusitic center of gravity of the Tauren people. Since the establishment of Thunder Bluff, the Bloodhoof dialect spoken there has been treated as the de facto standard, both among Tauren and within the rest of the Horde; therefore, it is the Thunder Bluff dialect that shall be treated here.

2. Writing System

Taurahe has not traditionally been a written language. Tauren society has historically been based extensively on oral traditions, which supply everything from legal and ritual formulae to history and mythology, which, based on the study of different versions among different clans, have remained remarkably constant over centuries or even millennia[7]. Although the Tauren have had contact with literary societies such as the Night Elves for many centuries, they have generally eschewed writing for most culturally significant applications, ascribing far greater prestige to orally transmitted traditions. Most Tauren elders have committed the equivalent of dozens of volumes of history and poetry to memory; some, such as Hamuul Runetotem, are said to be able to recite what would fill a hundred books in any Orcish library.

Nonetheless, Tauren have some knowledge and respect for runic sorcery, and have applied it to the totems they wield in battle and use for ritual purposes. These "runes" seem ultimately to be of Night Elven origin, despite no extant tradition of their use in Night Elven society. Potentially, they date from before the Sundering, given their similarity to arcane runes used in Quel'thalas and the contemporary aversion to arcane magic among the Kaldorei.

Almost all written forms of Taurahe found now in Kalimdor are, however, recorded using the Orcish writing system. Orcish uses a combination of phonetic and logographic symbols, having descended from an earlier logographic stage[8] some two centuries before the opening of the Dark Portal. Foreign languages, when recorded in Orcish, typically use only the most common logographs, relying instead on extensive use of the phonetic symbols normally reserved for inflection and particles. The syllabic nature of phonetic Orcish, however, renders it a poor fit for Taurahe, which has a completely different phonetic inventory. Therefore, in this article I have preferred to rely on the superior Thalassian alphabet to transcribe the sounds of Taurahe, which are in fact quite simple for the Elven tongue to pronounce.

3. Phonology

Taurahe forms generally CV syllables, making it at least phonetically one of the less vulgar languages of the Horde. It rarely admits consonant clusters, only occasionally permitting certain syllable-final glides and certain syllable-initial affricates. The fifteen consonants as transcribed into Thalassian are as follows:

p b t k m n s sh h ch (a velar or glottal fricative) l r w y (a palatal semivowel) ts (affricate)

Taurahe has five vowels, which may be either short or long; in most dialects, although not Bloodhoof, the long consonants are in fact diphthongs, and even when speaking Bloodhoof, Tauren tend to preserve those diphthongs if present in their native dialect. The five primary vowels are /a e i o u/; the long vowels are most usually realized as /a: ei i: o: au/. Less common are /au/ and /ai/ or /ie/ for /a:/ and /i:/. Grimtotem Tauren has a completely different system of long vowels, /ae ei ie oa ue/.

4. Noun Classification

The declension of the Taurahe noun is only for four cases--the nominative, the objective, the locative, and the relative--but is greatly dependent on the classification of the noun, based on what appears to be both an animacy and social-role hierarchy. The former is not unlike the animacy classification of some Zandali languages, while the latter bears a (passing) resemblance to the "gender" categories in human languages, but both should probably be treated on their own terms, as the Tauren system is both distinct and more regular than either. Roughly speaking, Taurahe noun classification is between inanimate or abstract, sessile or natural, dynamic-animate, fully sapient, and elemental or divine nouns on the one hand; and provider/loremaster, hunter/leader or shaman/spiritwalker on the other. The social role classification is somewhat more difficult to understand as a regular process among the less animate nouns, and is also not fixed: one noun may migrate between all three categories according to circumstance and usage, without the reclassified noun necessarily being considered a new lexeme. Inflecting a noun according to another animacy category is, however, a standard part of new noun formation.

There are at least six or seven distinct declensions of Taurahe nouns; my Tauren interlocutors have not been able to agree on the precise number, and it may be that comparison to the Thalassian system of declensions is in fact entirely inapplicable here.

5. Verb Nuclei

The Taurahe verb is formed from affixes attached to a single root, a "nucleus" which may be built up with both prefixes and suffixes and even, in some cases, infixes. Roots generally encompass a single semantic concept, which affixes may extend and alter in ways which would, in most other languages, necessitate the derivation of a new word. For example, "kuto," "fight" with the telic, transitive affixes forms the verb "karutoha," "to win [against sb.]", while with the impersonal affix forms "ukuto," "to fall into disarray." The impersonal form can be further modified by the personal, passive affix, "uma'ukuto," "to be routed in battle," which despite the presence of the impersonal affix alters the valency of the verb. All told, Taurahe has perhaps one-tenth the verbal roots of a language like Orcish or Common Human (to say nothing of the refined Thalassian tongue), but dozens, and possibly hundreds, of verbal affixes. Few of these affixes are truly exclusive of one another, and a deeper syntatic analysis is required to determine how, exactly, the valency, tense, and aspect of the final verb are determined.

6. Taurahe Words and Phrases

The following phrases are taken from interviews with my Tauren interlocutors. I traveled to Thunder Bluff and Bloodhoof Village for a period of eighteen weeks and interviewed approximately a dozen Tauren of four different clans. This is but a small sample of the corpus I used for my analysis, and with the aid of an colleague who has been transcribing Taurahe lore from Orcish to Thalassian script, I hope to soon begin work on a more complete grammar of the Taurahe tongue.

Vocabulary

-she/-sha: Affix denoting natural phenomena, celestial bodies, and the divine, cf. "An'she," the creator-sun. shu: Clan, tribe, political grouping. Cf. "Shu'halo," the Tauren people. halo: 1st person plural pronoun. We, ourselves. apaa: watch, guard ro: path, road apa'ro: the Waywatcher, Malorne -ah: augmentative affix por: lore, wisdom, custom, law por'aa: ancient wisdom, longstanding (and therefore inviolable) custom alo: within, inside ne[e]: to be (cf. "ishnee," "let be," or "ichnee," "to remain, to always be") pawne: spirit, soul owa: to dash, to bolt, to run tanekaa: blue; cf. Taunka "taunka," "winter," and the Taurahe idiom "bluest [i.e., coldest] of winters" manii: to shake laata: to shake; with the causative infix cf. "Laakotamanii," "the Earthshaker." isha: grave, serious, deep awaak: doom, ill fate, misfortune eeche: white ala: to walk mo: dream ala'mo: druid, i.e., one who walks in dreams haurakemani: the Earthmother shu'halo: a Tauren, the Tauren ahee: language; to speak

Phrases:

Pawne chi owako lehe "[May the] spirits guide you"

Ya shu'kushaa "For the Horde"

Namak'ehe shu "Victory or death"

Chi shu'ma'hewa "I've been expecting you."

Lehe shu'po'halo wota'ano kuu "May my ancestors watch over me"

Rek'ala'mo ya kusho'ake ne "Cat druid is for fight"

Notes:

[1] See especially Magister Thoradiel's "On the Orcish Tongues" and its follow-up, "The Draenei Dialects." Loremaster Harran of Dalaran's groundbreaking work, "The Eredar-Draenei Family" dissects the relationship of the demon-languages of the Twisting Nether to the Draenei tongue, but N.B. that possession of this volume is forbidden in Dalaran, Orgrimmar, Thunder Bluff, and Stormwind owing to its extensive analysis of demonic incantations; the nearest available copy is to be found in the Black Library of the Royal Apothecary Society, in the Undercity.

[2] Magister Gal'an's "Some Darnassian-Thalassian Cognates", Notes of the Royal Society, 6851 Y.S., issue no. 3.

[3] Taurahe "shu," variously translated as "clan," after Orcish usage, or "tribe." A "shu" is any extended kinship group, and the term is sometimes applied to large political groupings of any kind, e.g., "Shu'kaldo," the Night Elves, or "Shu'ekate," the people of the east, i.e., the Alliance.

[4] Most notably the Grimtotem who, while having diplomatic relations with Thunder Bluff, are not technically part of the Horde.

[5] E.g., most of the Wildmane Tauren.

[6] Now called Darnassian after its principal dialect, but functionally the same as Proto-Kalimdorean.

[7] The consistency of Tauren oral traditions is bolstered by analysis of their (admittedly scant) attestations in Night Elf histories. Several important entries are found in "The Annals of Kalimdor," vols. XLIV to LXX, currently held in the Sentinel Archives. The author acknowledges that the currently strained diplomatic relationship between Quel'Thalas and Darnassus may make consultation of these codices difficult.

[8] "Old Orcish Pictographs," Proudmoore, Jaina. Journal of the Linguistic Society of Dalaran, vol. 53, no. 2.

[star-anise]

Oh goddamn my brain just exploded.

I just watched F. D. Signifier's video on "I Don't Dream of Labour" and just how much the whole discussion operates in a while different reality from the one in which Black American men and the concept of working for a living have historically existed.

His take is enormously well-informed and informative, and this isn't an idea that's of his calibre at all, it's just that his take on the context this discussion is happening in was so insightful that it shook something loose in my brain as relates to my own experiences. Mainly, it helped me contextualize a reaction I'd had last week, in a post about dream jobs outside of capitalism and whether it was okay for "engineer" to be one of them, in my background in white lower-middle class.

Like yes, I do have intellectual reasons for believing what I believe. My work experience, my research, my education in the social sciences, my curiosity about the world around me, my readings of Foucault, have all informed my beliefs that society has chronically devalued forms of labour that, in fact, it depends on so much that the entire system freaks the fuck out if those devalued workers realize that they're valuable enough to demand better.

Signifier's video helped me connect with some of my emotional reactions to socialist and utopian thought, and recognize just how much my views are also rooted in hard gnarly matter of my lived experience, and the lived experiences of the people who raised me.

I dream of labour partly because I've found a line of work that I love and that gives me meaning. But the other thing is, I dream of labour because of a bone-deep tiredness in me that says: If I don't do it, the work won't get done.

I'm a therapist, and the birth of my vocation as a therapist was in the years when I didn't have one or feel like I was allowed to ask for them, and neither did anyone else I knew, and the amount of terror and pain that we all lived with because of it would have ripped a hole in my ability to trust the universe if I hadn't decided to make myself the hero I needed. I say that if I do my work well enough I might contribute to enough social change that I'll put myself out of a job, but in practical reality, I don't think that will happen in my lifetime.

I digress. A few years after that, my mom admitted she had depression and went on disability leave from work because she was pretty damn bad. I remember when we got home after she'd picked me up from school one day, and while she was out of the house, her female friends had come to our house and gone to town on all the housework she'd been struggling to do (and then some; we knew things were different from the front door, because the floor of our mudroom sparkled in a way it never had before).

I remember it so much because I think it was only the second time in my life I'd seen her cry. Because it was so unexpected and such an amazing relief, this sense that someone else would step in and do the work for her. (Yes, my dad and older brothers and I pitched in, but everyone's expectations were that if the house was still standing at the end of our tenure it'd be a net win, and yes, I still feel ashamed for not having done more even if I logically couldn't have.)

This is part of what it means to say my gender is "farm wife". My ancestors were white settlers in western Canada, where farms were divided up in a grid pattern that guaranteed that homesteads would be pretty isolated. My grandmothers were children during the Great Depression. For their mothers, being a farmwife meant doing work their family depended on to survive, and knowing that until their oldest daughter got old enough, there was no one to do the work if they didn't. That sense of necessity lives in us still. My mom will endure a job she hates for ages, but feel unable to quit without having another one lined up. I still have "you do not have to fix it" on my phone lockscreen, because unsolved problems cry out to me in the voice of my terror when I was 13 and nobody was saving me.

The thought of coming home and finding my floor washed for me is so impossibly amazing I don't know how I'd even cope with it. The only person I can currently think of who'd actually do it is my mom. And she and I are still trying to sort out the toxic effects of this legacy, where we take on work because we feel we have to and then get angry when we aren't respected or rewarded for it, or try to avoid being the target of that anger by not asking for help we need. The thought of leaving work undone inspires such a deep, visceral level of fear and shame that it's hard to think around sometimes.

All of which helps me explain and understand my reflexive "Oh, fuck YOU" reaction to people who say that in the future robots will flip our burgers and burp our babies, but in the meantime, it's being corrupted by a neoliberal agenda to try to make the backbreaking work of ordinary people five pounds lighter. I am the enemy if I ever hire someone to wash the floor for me.

I'm not sure that "Oh, fuck you" response is bullshit, though. Like, I feel like I'm supposed to say that my ideological enemy is the capitalist boss who mandates workloads, not the edgelord tankie who sends hatemail to insufficiently radical "liberals", but this entire thought process has just helped me formulate why I hate those goddamn tankies so fucking much.

The work of defeating capitalism is important and real and more people need to be doing it. But it's stark raving idiocy to pretend that it's the most important work there is, because before it comes the work of keeping people alive. The work of keeping people fed and clothed and housed, healthy and well, connected and cared about. And I'm always thrilled when I get to do so in a manner that also resists capitalism, but if the only people helping me do that are capitalists, that is who I'm going to fucking ally with. Because the work needs to be done, and I would like to die without the family curse of never feeling able to trust that people will survive if you pause for one moment making my bones glow in the dark.

So if your only reaction to that is to say I should heroically struggle in ideologically pure isolation because Capitalism Bad but also in Big Rock Candy Communism my work won't be necessary so it's not like you feel any need to help me?

Yeah, you're my enemy. Get out of my fucking way.

[misschifuyu]

7 minutes in heaven w/ Ran & Chifuyu

requested

characters: ran haitani + chifuyu matsuno

genre: fluff

warnings: mentions of drinking + swearing

the party was far from what one could consider as control. despite having only started around two hours prior to the current situation you were in, it was more than obvious that some had a downed a few more drinks than they had initially planned, whilst others were already falling asleep on the vacant couches

the host house was nobody's in particular, which saved the caution when it came to stabilising those who were barely walking straight. it was a simple, abandoned garage that you had all put in work to make it look quite accommodating, everyone donating pieces of furniture to make up the room that was almost like a second home whenever a party was hosted

seeing as the grand majority of the participants were guys, said parties would always get out of hand, usually resulting in the infamous game that had been used one too many times as a sort of match-making system

currently, you were reevaluating your decision that had gotten you into such a game - courtesy of yuzuha's insisting attitude to get you to sit in the circle with a few others - and wondering if there was really any way out of it

cheerful laughing and teasing comments were thrown around at each other, some more than others, as mikey placed the empty bottle of soda in the middle of the gathered bunch. draken had to stabilise him so as to not lose his balance as baji almost knocked him over with a friendly push, causing a sudden shout of surprise from the blond

needless to say, the game was only going to rile them up even more, probably not something recommendable knowing that some of the individuals in the circle would, without even a second thought, start a fight with another if provoked

the life of mingling with gangsters, you supposed

"alright everyone, quiet the hell down! i don't need to go over the rules, we all know how to play by now: you get who you're given, and if you refuse to go into the closet with them, you're outta the game!"

always one with his words, mikey finally sat down beside his comrades, right before he gave the bottle a swift push to send it into a spinning movement in the centre of the circle. all eyes were fixed on the plastic container, wondering who the first one would go into the notorious closet that, more than often, ended up in some awkward scenarios

you felt something brush against your side, causing you to turn to your right. no surprise, yuzuha was looking at you with a giddy smile. she knew the person you had been keeping your eye on all night was there, so she wouldn't let you leave the game until she saw you with them heading towards the closet

giving her a playful roll of your eyes, you focused back onto the now slowing down bottle. it was getting awfully close to you, what if...

"Y/N! You're up first!"

Damn

unsurprisingly, a few whistles were heard between the guys, others nodding there head at the interesting start to the game; amidst the bunch, you caught hakkai sending you a knowing glance over at you. of course, his sister had undoubtedly let her mouth slip, no doubt

yuzuha, on her behalf, gave you a few taps on your hand once more, growing even more excited to see if she could finally witness her friend get set up with someone that night

"now, who's going to join them...?"

as the bottle took up its nerve-racking job, the room fell silent in anticipation to the person that was to be picked, the only sounds being the snores of souya and nahoya snoozing on the couch closest to all of you

coming to a slow stop, the plastic object eventually landed on...

Ran

"ran!"

a snort was heard from across the circle. sanzu, who was sat to the left of the eldest haitani brother, had fallen back from his sitting position upon seeing that his friend had been picked, immensely amused

quite like the one beside you, really. squeezing your hand so tightly you were sure you'd lose your sense in it soon, yuzuha quickly pushed you up to your feet

ran's reaction wasn't quite as expressive, and honestly, you were glad. although your gradually heating-up face was probably more than enough of a sign as to how you felt, you didn't know if he was glad or appalled at the selection.

he didn't even look over at you, thankfully, standing up without much of a word. your heart was racing at a pace you hadn't even expected; sure, the crush on the haitani had been something eating away at your mind, but you had never really thought that you would ever have a chance to even speak with him much

he was such a prestigious gangster amongst the tokyo delinquents, why would he ever even spare a second on y-

"go ahead, then"

you didn't even dare to look up at his towering form. you could almost hear the smile in his voice and, frankly, you weren't sure if that was a good thing or if you weren't getting out of the dark closet alive

as he stood at the door to let you in, mikey reminded the two of you how long you had before he returned to the growing murmurs that were held between everyone else. yuzuha was practically jumping in her seat as she watched you go into the wooden closet

door shutting behind you, you had forgotten just how small the closet could be; the space between you and ran was far from big, and if you happened to move even slightly with your arm, you were sure to brush up against him

god, you could barely even think straight. what the hell were you supposed to do ?

a few seconds of seconds passed by in silence, your eyes fixed on the ground, only just making out the outline of your shoes. a low voice, however, snapped you out of your thoughts in an instant

"you do know i notice how you stare at me whenever im around, right?"

turning your head up to him, you felt like a deer caught in headlights. great, so you hadn't been exactly subtle about the looks you would occasionally give him when he was nearby. well, occasional...

"if you weren't so shy and...quiet, i think we could actually get somewhere with this, you know?"

what

picking up at your nervous reaction upon hearing his words, he let out a low chuckle, only sending chills down your spin. you felt absolutely helpless under his gaze, but had you really just heard the one and only ran haitani say what you think he meant or-?

his hand came up to grab hold of your chin, and you were certain your knees would give out in that moment. his face was became clearer as he leaned down towards you, his lazy smile adorning his features. you had never imagined you would ever see up so close, and now you were starting to realise just how much you had been searching to be near him

his braids slipping down from his shoulders as his body angled down, his voice rang out in your ears as he spoke up, though this time his tone was much lower, quieter

"you're quite the sight yourself...i wouldn't mind indulging myself in you on other occasions"

he knew what he was doing. your breath was practically caught up in your throat, and you could only look at him with stunned, yet complying, eyes

his own narrowed down at you as his smile widened ever so slightly, and the quick glance down at your lips went far from unnoticed by you. oh, god

tilting up your head a little further up with such a care that you would have never thought he was even capable of, his face approached your own as he angled his head ever so slightly to the side

it what felt like a split second, his lips fell on your own. for a moment, you kept your eyes widened, not really sure if this was actually happening. however, at the soft texture that was pushing against your lips, you closed your eyes to follow his movements, ignoring any other thoughts that were running through your mind

as you responded to him, you could feel him smile against you. of course, he would never leave behind his characteristic, cocky behaviour, no matter the circumstance

you supposed it was a sign for him to go further as you noticed his hand slowly come up to rest his fingers on your cheek, his thumb on the other, resulting inn a better hold of your face

it only took a few seconds before his tongue slid over your lips, asking for permission. truthfully, you hadn't a clue what had gone over you as you slowly parted your mouth for him, bringing up your own arms to wrap around his neck. hell, you didn't have much to lose at this point.

losing yourself in the way he skilfully moved against you, you hadn't realised his hand slipping down, wavering around your neck before joining his other down by your waist. although the space was cramped, by the way you were pressed up against him it no longer felt as restrictive and cramped

all sense of time was lost. all you could focus on was the way he managed to simply get you all flustered and weak with his mouth, only breaking away for a few seconds before catching your now blushed lips once more

you tugged slightly at his hair, resulting in him parting away from you with a low hum. at first, you weren't sure if you had done something wrong, quickly falling into a state of worry. however, your doubts were quickly washed away as he switched to your neck, sucking on the soft skin. it had obviously sent him off into another tangent that you weren't sure you even had time for-

"time's up, people, let's-!"

practically leaping out of your skin, you quickly came back to your senses at the sudden flood of light in the closest. ran mimicked your reaction, although not as fast as you would have preferred

"woah, okay! didn't think y'all would even talk to each other!"

face turning several shades of red in an instant, you looked back out into the room you had forgotten you were even still in, a crowd of laughter breaking out as everyone noticed that the two of you hadn't just held a friendly conversation

but, perhaps you would speak up a little more with him if this was the outcome...

Chifuyu

"chifuyu!"

the name hit you like a punch to the chest. out of everyone, every single guy in the room, it just had to be that one blond. sat beside baji, you noticed chifuyu's eyes widening upon the being picked by the plastic container whilst being shaken by his black-haired friend

baji had always been pretty reluctant in getting his rather solitary best friend involved in the game, since he seemed to never actually get picked to go into the closet. he always deemed it as his destiny to remain single for a few years to come, but others would always beg to differ

you wished you could change that; it just took you a little to actually get it out. yuzuha had, countless times, tried to motivate you to speak to him more often. sure, the two of you held a pretty good friendship, but the bugging feelings that you had developed for him had been conflicting your actions for a good few months by now, and you just wanted to get rid of them

whether or not you would be able to do so now, surrounded with a crowd of guys that were trying to get their friend a partner once and for all, was really up to forced unknown to you. just standing up to head towards the closet was hard enough without yuzuha's help, so you dreaded to think what would happen

with a smile on his face, chifuyu waited for you at the door of the closet, letting you go in first as you sent him a nervous smile. mikey rambled on in the background over rules, but his attention was quickly diverted to the topic at hand between everybody: what would come out of that pair?

closing the door behind him, the blond let out a sigh that you could tell he had been holding him since he stood up amidst his excited friends

"you would think they would change as they grew up, huh?"

he always managed to make any situation familiar, no matter how shaken up you were. it was the way he spoke, the way he would treat you. but he did that with so many others, so you had limited yourself to simply believe that it was part of his persona, to be a gentle soul

as you giggled at his statement, you nodded in agreement. you had known each other for a few years by now, and had grown up with the same idiots that were sat outside, their voices heard even through the wooden door. the childhood spent beside him was something you knew you would always feel grateful for, and you wished you could simply consider him as just that: a childhood friend, nothing more, nothing less

but it was impossible. even just stood there, in the dark of the empty space, you could almost hear your heart flutter as you looked over at him. he had always given you a sense of comfort, and you couldn't even think of a way to repay him after all that he has done for you

"Y/N, is everything alright?"

there he went again

without hesitation, you gave him a nod of reassurance. you were perfectly fine; in fact you, could consider yourself the happiest person whenever in his presence, whenever around him. you couldn't pin point it to an exact trait, it was really just all of him. all of chifuyu

"yeah, yeah, im fine..just lost in thought, i guess"

well, it wasn't a lie. however, you had far from expected him to say something more to your simple answer

"what thoughts?"

of course, he hadn't a clue. why would he? for all you knew, many other girls probably treated him with the same kindness with intentions of becoming closer to him; he probably didn't even notice your own, subtle signs you gave him to try and, perhaps, reach him before anybody else did

you wished him only the best. whether that were with you or somebody else, you didn't mind as long as he was happy with his significant other. and you were only there to try and help him avoid getting his heart broken, even if that meant standing at the sidelines

"it's nothing, don't worry"

he clearly didn't seem very content, or even convinced, at your words. furrowing his eyebrows together, he looked down at his hands for a split second. he was nervous, but whatever for?

what if he had...noticed? oh, god...what if he thought you were going to confess to him and he felt anything but the same about you? a sense of fear rushed through your body, and you could only stand in silence to hear out his next words, whatever they may be

"Y/N, i...ive been meaning to tell you something for a bit now"

no doubt, he had noticed. signalling to go on with a nod of your head as you tried to keep your friendly composure, you noticed him suck in a swift breath of air

"its just...okay, I really hope this doesn't come off as creepy or weird, and im sorry in advance if it does but...ive kind of, uhm, liked you for a bit now. I never really got around to tell you because I was afraid that someone would overhear and I wouldn't want to embarrass you like that, so I figured I could tell you here. but if you don't feel the same way, its alright; really, i just-"

"chifuyu"

it was as though everything else around you had disappeared, the only thing ringing in your ears being his stammering voice. far from what you had expected, what you had bargained for, you were left utterly speechless. you would have cut him off before his doubtful thoughts, but you simply hadn't collected yourself in time to do so

"...yes?"

without a second thought, you leaned over to catch his lips with your own. you were sure you wouldn't find any words to respond to him, so you decided the second best way to tell him was showing him how the feelings were reciprocated.

pulling away mere seconds after your bold move, you were surprised with a sudden grip at your arm, stopping you in your tracks. you could make out his blushed features even in the low light, but also his joyful smile. the one you had only wished you could bring out more often

not a second more wasted, he pulled you back into his arms, finishing up what you had timidly started. there was no need for words. just by the way he held you, the way his hands carefully held your face, was more than enough to tell you that you had been far from alone in your feelings

filled with pure joy, you hadn't even noticed the door slowly creeping open

"I told you he could do it!"

of course, baji's voice was the first to be heard, followed by a rather loud cheer from guys beside him. yuzuha promptly joined as soon as she saw you, and you were sure to tell her every last detail of what had just happened

[ashxllbey]

Starman - Poe Dameron x fem!reader - Chapter 20: Won't Get Fooled Again

GIF by cinemapix

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Word count: ±15.8k Warnings: fluff, mention of canon-typical violence and deaths.

"Hey, Y/N. Can I ask you something? " Klana's voice broke the tense silence, and Y/N startled. She had been drilling a hole through the picture for the better part of the last hour, but to no avail; no memory was coming back. It might eventually happen, but until then, she was left with more questions and no answers.  With a sigh, she put the picture away in her breast pocket. "Sure. " Poe hadn't looked up from his holopad. For whatever reason, the silence was ever denser between him and Y/N. She wasn't quite sure why, but it made her uncomfortable - and slightly worried. Was he thinking she had been lying all this time? That she had been aware of her ties with the Republic? That she remembered more than she let on? No. Assuredly, he would never entertain this idea, would he? It was nerve-wracking. Y/N wanted to ask him, but then again, asking him might make him suspicious. Why did she even care anyway?! She knew her truth. "What was it like? Dating a fellow pilot in your squad. How did you pull it off? " Y/N was grateful she hadn't been drinking. Instead, she choked on air as she snorted in surprise. "What? Why? " Klana gave her a dismissive shrug. "I don't know; I'm curious. We don't have many examples in the Resistance. And it's impressive, you know? Three years with someone is a long time, so I'm just wondering. It might come in handy to hear about your experience; who knows, " Klana added, winking. She was… right. If you put aside the fiasco that had been the end of the relationship. Besides, judging by the look of concern in Klana's dark eyes, Y/N was convinced she was giving her a way out. Something light to talk about, to keep her mind off the worries plaguing it. She was grateful for the opportunity.  Y/N made herself comfortable, wiggling in her seat until she found a position that suited her. "Do you guys really have that few couples on base? " she wondered. Klana shrugged. "No, we do have some. But pilots getting together is rarer than you'd think. Besides, I don't think I've seen anyone date into their squad, right, Poe? " The general looked up from his screen for a second, giving Klana a frown. "Hm? No, you're right. At least none that I'm aware of. " Huh. Surprising! "Well. I can't say it wasn't challenging, " Y/N started, wincing at the memories. "Not in the way you'd think. It wasn't that hard to date another pilot. What sucked was the First Order. And the war. That was much harder to live with than anything else. " She sighed. What room was left for intimacy when you spent your days fighting for your life? "Right. The Order had a no dating policy, correct?" She nodded. "Yes. It was a huge breach of protocol for an officer to date a soldier. My level of accreditation was way over his. So we had to keep everything quiet. Obviously, we were professional on the job, but... you know, when you have to organize an infiltration mission just to sneak into your boyfriend's quarters every night, it weighs you down." It had been especially hard for Kit. She risked more than him if they got caught, so he had always been more daring than Y/N. "Did you ever catch a break?" Y/N shrugged. "Sometimes. We had to sleep on the planet for some missions. I usually sneaked a couple of credits to the cantina owner, and he gave me Kit's room key. We managed to get on dates, too. But living hidden was way more difficult than working together." And that was putting it lightly. "Really? " Klana wondered. "He doesn't look like the kind of guy who takes orders willingly. " Y/N burst out laughing and gave her friend a sly smirk.  "You'd be surprised how easy it is to boss a guy around when you spend your days wearing a tight uniform. " Skylen choked on his drink as Klana cackled. "All jokes aside, though, it was straightforward. Kit is a brilliant pilot, and he respected my skills. He would have never said anything to me after the mission was over. It was hard, in the beginning, because there's always this doubt, you know? Whether or not you're reproaching something to the pilot or your boyfriend. But we left work at the door, and eventually, the fact that we were dating was our strongest suit. We knew each other so well that communication during missions was smooth sailing. " Which had explained, at least partially, why the 204th had been so quick to regain its former glory. All of them were incredible pilots, but the way Kit and she worked together on flights was another level altogether.  There had only been one other person she had ever felt so comfortable flying with ever since… He was sitting across from her. Shaking her head, Y/N focused on Klana, who had more questions than ever.  "Did someone end up finding out about you two? " Y/N winced, visibly enough that her friends noticed. Klana's eyebrows shot up, and she grinned. "Ohh, spill. " Ugh. Y/N didn't particularly enjoy telling that story. "Hux knew. " "Hux? Did you tell him? " Another wince on her part. Y/N rubbed the back of her neck. "Ehrm. Not exactly. He… kinda walked in on us. " The sound Klana made in response could only be described as a mix between a wheeze and a laugh. "He did NOT! Details! Now! How did that even happen? " Okay, yeah, it was kinda funny. Y/N chuckled to herself. "We were in my office. Long story short, even though Kit had locked the door, Hux had a master key to every room of the Finalizer. He had been trying to get a hold of me for the past ten minutes. Ren had called for me, but my commlink was off. A trooper told him I was in my office. And when I didn't answer the door, he, well. He opened the door. " She snorted at the memory. The look on his face was priceless.  "At least I was still clothed. Kit, on the other hand… Well. Not so much. Good thing he at least still had pants on. He saluted Hux as if nothing happened. Hux just… stared at us for a solid five seconds before letting out the longest sigh I've ever heard, and he just told me, 'Ren is waiting for you. I'll be waiting outside.' So I followed him, and we took the elevator together. Longest ride of my life. " Just picturing Kit, naked from the waist up, with his hair a mess, and standing upright in a military salute got her to cackle. "And right as we were about to reach our floor, and after a long awkward silence, he just said… Kriff. He said, 'If you're going to hook up with your pilots, I suggest you do it outside your office. I would hate for you to have to explain to Ren why you keep calling in the cleaning droid in there.' I died a little. "   Klana was crying-laughing at this point, and Skylen was doing his best not to bark out a laugh. Even Poe had put his datapad aside, pinching the bridge of his nose with second-hand embarrassment, though he was smiling. "And he never told Ren anything? " "Never. Hux would have never ratted me out. Believe it or not, he liked me. " That got Poe's attention. He frowned. "Wait. Hux? Skinny guy, kind of pasty? That Hux? He actually liked someone? " He was so surprised that Y/N laughed, head falling backward. "I know, right? He hated Ren, so I thought he would hate me, too. But it turned out I was helping him out enough for him to like me. I would usually warn him to steer clear of Kylo when he was in a bad mood so he didn't get force-choked. We had this… Weird dynamic. I spared him a whole lot of headaches. All he cared about was our results. We could do whatever we wanted behind closed doors. " "Why didn't you two go public if Hux didn't care? " Poe was… Curious. Y/N knew he had been listening, but she didn't actually expect him to pay attention. She shrugged. "Well. I don't think anyone else would have been so kind. Beside… It would have been the easiest way to put a target on my back. " "Because of your job? " Klana asked. "No, because Kit was First Order royalty. And I was, well. Me. They were pissed enough at me for snatching up the spot on the team; if the word had gotten around that I was hooking up with the hottest pilot on base, I would have been dead by day five. " She saw something move in the corner of her eyes but didn't react until Klana's projectile hit her temple. She yelped, looking down to find a loose bolt she had found Maker knew where. "What the- what was THAT for? " "Talking yourself down. " "Hey! It's true! Kit is hot as hell, and he has spent way more time than me in the Order. When I was named Captain, he had been part of the team for a year. And I just showed up and got the job everyone wanted him to have. He is a vicious pilot. I would NOT wish to go in a dogfight against him. " She paused for a second, thinking. "I mean, I would obviously kick his ass, but he would put up a good fight. He's one of the only two pilots I've ever been afraid of flying against. " Oh, she should NOT have said that. Poe grinned like a madman and leaned forward, painfully obvious. "Oh? And who's the second one? " Y/N huffed. There was an unmistakable smugness in his voice, and Poe's eyes glimmered with amusement. "I'm not saying it, " she stubbornly said. "Come on, Keebler. Just admit it. " "Alright, alright!… Skylen. " Poe scoffed. "You're such a Rancor. " The forenamed pilot, who had been sitting in silence up to this point, watching the friendly banter, gave them a boisterous laugh. "HAH! You should see your face, General! " Poe grumbled something incoherent as Skylen cackled loudly. "I'm gonna tell everyone about that, you know? " "Go right ahead, Furball. " "For the record, I hate you. Both of you, " Poe corrected when Skylen laughed. The three pilots shared an amused look as the general sulked in a corner, an evident smirk tugging nevertheless at the corner of his lips. Taking advantage of Poe's gruffness as he focused back on whatever he was reading, Klana made her way over to her friend, wiggling in the spot next to her. "I'm SO introducing you to one of my pilot friends when we get back. " Y/N huffed. Of course, she knew Klana wouldn't give up that easily. She should have known her diversion, her casually throwing at her friend that she was open to the experience, would come back to bite her. "We'll see, " Y/N whispered. But to be honest, she had kissed enough people in the past few days to last her an entire year. Taking one last look at the picture that did nothing to jog her memory, she made herself comfortable, deciding on taking a nap. She hadn't slept much in the past forty-eight hours, but she knew whatever they were flying back to would need all her energy. Klana nodded toward her own shoulder, and Y/N leaned on it, settling down on her newly-found pillow. The last thing she saw before dozing off was Poe looking at her with soft eyes and a concerned look on his face.

When the ship touched the ground of Kuat, Y/N caught a glimpse of the busy workers running around through the tiny windows. Nothing had changed, and it made her stomach churn. She was afraid the routine they had settled into after the war would soon be a victim of the news the crew was bearing. Like a loaded gun, the four of them carried the truth. Once Finn caught wind of their discovery, once what happened was shared with the public… Would it? Y/N hadn't thought about it. Would Poe tell the truth to the rest of the base? It depended on what they would decide on. What their strategy would be. Would they go public with it? Make the traitor sweat a bit? Would they keep it under wraps? In any case, she had no say on the matter and no opinion to have.  The angst settled in her stomach as they disembarked, finally stepping foot home. Home. What a foreign concept she had learned to love. Going back to Tatooine had undoubtedly been an eye-opening experience.  Familiar faces greeted them, and people called after them, inquiring about their well-being. Being the talkative person he was, Poe handled the questioning until a loud beep echoed through the hangar and an orange lightning bolt wheezed forward, making a beeline (or rather, a bee-beeline) for his human. "Buddy! I'm so happy to see you! " Poe dropped to his knees, engaging in a joyful conversation with the droid. Jogging behind him, Rey appeared, shaking her head. "I swear, we were talking a minute ago, and he just bolted out of here- Oh, Poe! You're back! Finn shouldn't be long. " They greeted each other, and, indeed, Finn arrived a couple of moments later. He hugged Poe, then Skylen and Klana, then- Oh! Y/N patted his back awkwardly before he stepped away, eyes resting on his co-leader. "We have a ton of things to talk about. Rey and I just came back from Coruscant. We had a chat with the sitting Chancellor. " Poe's face darkened, and everyone shared a somber look. The base had fallen quiet. The weight of the shared secret was on their shoulders, and soon enough, Finn and Rey would be aware of it, too. It would be the six of them -plus BeeBee- alone with the burden of knowledge.  "Yeah. We need to talk. Let's go. The three of you, you're dismissed. Get some rest. The last two days were pretty eventful, and I need you in top shape. Y/N, you swing by the medical ward. Get your ribs checked. That's an order. " "Roger that, General. " With one last look at her —evidently, he was convinced she would disobey— Poe walked away, his droid rolling behind him, Finn and Rey on his heels. "I don't know about the two of you, but I could use a nap on an actual bed. I'll see you two tonight; I'm gonna crash, " Skylen mumbled.  "Sleep well, Furball. You've earned it. " Klana squeezed his arm, and he nodded before walking away. Y/N thought about following his example for a second before deciding against it. "What are you going to do? " She asked Klana. The pilot shrugged. "Sleep, eventually. I couldn't get any shut-eye last night. I'm worried about Poe. And I had to take care of Pipa. " It was reassuring to hear that she wasn't the only one concerned with the General's well-being.  A loud crash made both women jump, and Y/N whipped around with her blaster in hand, only to find a cleaning droid trapped with its head laying a meter away from him, the result of a collision with a crate. It wasn't until Klana put her hand on her friend's that she realized she had her gun in hand. She put it back in its holster and let out a heavy sigh. "I think I need to clear my head a bit. Before I get started on the search party for my squad. " Klana put her hand on her friend's cheek, dark eyes staring into hers with a softness Y/N had rarely seen. "It will be okay. Things happen for a reason. You will find out the truth. And we will help. " Y/N nodded and smiled warmly. She always knew what to say. Also, her skin was really soft, which was a mystery considering how rough the sand and winds of Tatooine had been. Klana was the epitome of what a pilot usually wasn't. Gentle, polite, soft. "I'm glad we're friends, " she answered, and Klana laughed, punching her shoulder gently. Ah, someone had taken a leaf from Poe's book. "You're too cute. Now come on, off you go. Get yourself checked by Doctor Feron, and relax for a bit. I'm gonna go for a run around the base to shake the nerves off and then pass out; I'll see you later. " How did that woman have so much energy after pulling an all-nighter?! Y/N watched her go and disappear inside the base. It wasn't until she was alone on the landing strip that she paid attention to the beeps by her side. Then, with a sigh, she shrugged her bag back on her shoulder and went to help the droid, putting its head back on and the crate away before going on her merry way. The visit to the medical ward had been less than pleasant, mainly because Feron knew her by name at that point. Fortunately, all her physical pain came from bruises and contusions, and she hadn't broken any bone. A miracle of its own, really. Y/N was glad; the stench of the disinfectant was drilling a hole in her nose, and she hated it, even though she had only been in the ward for the better half of an hour. Feron had had the time to finish his apple as its core laid in the trashcan she had walked by upon entering. It made her smile. She was glad the poor medic could take care of himself; he spent enough time patching dumb flyboys up. Yes. Flyboys. Because fly girls were cautious, thank you very much. With her pockets full of pill bottles and a fresh handful of bacta compresses Feron had insisted on her taking, Y/N had walked back to her room, sighing in delight as she heard the familiar pneumatic whoosh. It was music to her ears. After the loud, obnoxious sound of blasters going off, hearing nothing but that sound was pure bliss. With the last ounce of energy she had left, she unpacked her bag, putting away her stuff before hopping in the shower. The cold metallic ground was soon covered with a thin layer of dirt and debris as the water washed the remains of the mission down the sink. Y/N grunted as sand kept coming out of her hair. It was like she had brought back half of Tatooine with her. AND she had showered the day prior! Even her necklace felt gritty, and she washed it thoroughly. After an intensive washing session, Y/N flopped down on her bed, sighing in delight. The plush pillow, its citrus scent, the calm of her room, she had missed all of this. So it wasn't shocking that she fell asleep in no time. Y/N was wakened up by her commlink going off. She rolled around her bed and felt around until she found the tiny device. Scrunching up her eyes to read the message, she realized she didn't recognize the sender. It took her a couple of seconds to put a face on that name. Huh.

Y/N hurried and put on a fresh pair of pants, the first high-neck sleeveless tank she could get her hands on, and her blaster on her hip. Then, with her commlink strapped to her wrist and the picture she had found in her back pocket, she made her way to the communication room she had been called to. She had never been there and had to ask around to find the place. Upon her arrival, Y/N knocked politely. The door was pretty unassuming, in a part of the base with no specific sign or anything. For a second, Y/N wondered if she was in the wrong place. But the door finally opened, revealing a woman on the other side. Shorter than Y/N, with her jet black hair up in a bun, she was timider than the last time she had seen her. "Oh, good, you're here. Did you bring it? " "I did, " Y/N answered, stepping inside the room as she let her in. The place was a mess, to say the least. There was a big holo table in the middle, with various screens and several pieces of information projected on it. Crates laid around, littering the floor, cables protruding from them and spiraling down in heaps of knots and plastic braids. Many papers were sticking out of one of the boxes; they were quickly pushed back inside. "Sorry for the mess; I've been looking at our archives. Poe had them brought up here. It's a mess, honestly… Ah, sorry. I didn't introduce myself. I'm so rude. I'm-" "Rose, " Y/N piped up with a smile. The woman stared at her in surprise. "Yes, that's… You remembered. Most pilots don't. " "Of course, I remember. And I'm not most pilots. " She thought about it for a second. "No, you deal with Poe regularly, so I guess not. " Y/N let out a loud laugh as Rose pushed stuff around, making a clear path for both of them, reaching the control panel of the huge holo table. She had a feeling she knew what it was all about. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. Swatting aside a couple of files lying around, Rose cracked her knuckles and started typing on a keyboard in pristine condition. The holo table and its accessories were the only objects seemingly well taken care of in the room. It buzzed to life, various lines of text scrolling past Y/N's curious eyes. "Alright. Finn told me you need help finding information about an unknown squadron of the Republic. This computer is linked to the database of the Senate's archives. Everything that was recovered from before the war is in here. Personal files, criminal records, you name it. We'll find it. " Impressive. Rose was obviously determined and perhaps slightly too eager to get started. It made the pilot smile. "Are you a hacker of some sort? You look like you know your way around this type of thing. " She shook her head no. "Technically, I'm a mechanic. But I have a thing for making machines talk. And I like to help in any way I can. " For that, Y/N was grateful. She laid her picture flat on the table, and Rose studied it intently, making notes of anything that caught her eye. According to her, the outdated equipment that was this piece of glazed paper couldn't be accurately scanned and compared to the existing database. So they had to do everything by hand and peruse through the entire squadron logos collection. Y/N had profusely apologized for that. The amount of work was colossal, but Rose wasn't discouraged. Soon enough, the two women were perched on two semi-stable crates, scrolling down the never-ending list of emblems. It was pretty simple, from what Y/N could discern on the jackets of her companions. The regular symbol of the Galactic Republic; striped with red and black.  Their search soon ended with a stroke of luck as Y/N jumped to her feet, pointing at the screen. "Hey! That's the one! " Rose opened the file, squinting at the screen. "Cerberus Squadron. Stationed on the Colossus, one of the motherships of the Republic's fleet. Commanded by Admiral Vesper. Rings a bell? " Mother of Force, she KNEW that name! Y/N nodded vigorously. "Yes. This sounds right. " Rose went on with her scrolling, Y/N barely containing her excitement next to her. This was it! She was about to find a new piece of the puzzle! She couldn't stop her leg from jiggling. Pure adrenaline pulsed through her veins; if she were alone, Y/N would have squealed. It was a momentous occasion. After years of being kept in the dark, she was about to uncover a good chunk of her past. If she recalled correctly, one could only join the navy at eighteen. She had joined them at twenty-two, according to the test run in the First Order. So, at best, she could learn about up to four years of her life! That was HUGE! "Okay, I've found a list of the members. Let's see… Led by Commander Mazeto. " Rose fell silent, opening the files one after the other. A frown was starting to settle on her forehead, and Y/N frowned, too. What was the matter? "What's wrong? " She dared to ask after a moment. Rose glanced at her and sighed. "It's written here that the entire squadron was wiped out during a mission in 27 ABY. It was an ambush, near-" "Karazak. " The word had left Y/N's lips before she could even think about it. Rose blinked. "…Yes. How do you know? " "Because I remember. " Y/N closed her eyes. Bribes of conversation were bubbling from the depth of the pit of her empty mind: flashes and voices and terror filled her head. "I was the only survivor. They all died. Picked up from the sky by a squad of separatists. " She opened her eyes again but didn't dare to look up at Rose. The feeling of loss, rage, and sadness; they were there. They were still there nine years later.  "You're correct. Most of the details are redacted, but it's stated here that one pilot survived… I'm pulling up the file. " Y/N addressed a quick but sincere prayer to the Maker, wishing for her fallen comrades' peace in the afterlife. She didn't remember their names or who they were but knowing they had shared a squadron was enough. A squad was a family. Forcing the angst away, Y/N focused back on the screen. She would have time to read about her fallen friends later. For now, she was still on a mission. "I'm sorry about your friends, " Rose whispered. It was painfully obvious she didn't know how to act as the file loaded. Y/N gave her a small smile. "Thank you. It's weird. I remember the feeling of loss, but I don't recall any of them. But I'll honor their memory by carrying on with the fight. "

As she finished her sentence, the screen lit up with a name. Y/N's breath hitched in her throat. "Tesla Therbera. Born on March 7th, in 7 ABY, on Chandrilla. Affiliations redacted. " Oh, no. And here went her hopes of learning about a possible family… Her stomach dropped in disappointment. But still. She had to focus on the positive; she knew the name of her actual home planet! Chandra… That had been Ren's home planet, too. She had learned that by accident one night when Hux had too much to drink. Also… Tesla? That wasn't her name. She knew that name, but… It felt foreign, somehow. As if she had borrowed it. So… A fake name. A false identity. Still, it must have been the one they knew her as, right? She had this picture as proof. The date of birth coincided with what she knew of herself. She had the jacket in the picture.  But why the fake name? "Joined the Galactic Republic navy the day after your eighteenth birthday, " Rose went on, oblivious to the pilot's struggles. "Yeesh, someone was looking forward to becoming a pilot. " Y/N laughed, feeling the tension leaving her body at Rose's tentative joke. That wasn't so surprising to hear. "It's stated here that you joined the Cerberus squad right after your training ended, and you were named Lieutenant six months later. Two months before the incident. It's also written that you were to join Alphabet Squadron by the end of the year. You had asked for a mutation, and it had been approved by the Admiral, " Rose read dutifully, her short fingers tapping absentmindedly against the glass surface of the keyboard. Alphabet squadron. Why did that name ring a bell? Y/N racked her brains. She was sure she had heard of it during her time in the Order. "Wait. Isn't that the intelligence squad whose role was to track down the 204th? " Rose nodded. Y/N snorted. "Oh, Maker, the irony. My life is a joke. " Rose humored her with a chuckle before going back to her task. But then again, the frown returned. "What now? " "It's weird. According to the file's size, there should be other pages here. But that's all there is to it. Hold on, let me try something…. " With a dizzying -and impressive- speed, Rose's fingers fluttered over the keyboard, and she started typing furiously, limbs moving in a frenzy. Lines of what appeared to be coding flashed on the screen as she burrowed herself in the guts of the machine. She was frowning hard but focusing even harder, and Y/N barely breathed, refusing to break the tense silence. Whatever she was doing, it must have been necessary. "I knew it, " she finally exclaimed, turning to Y/N. "There is a bunch of notes hidden in there. Except I can't access them. And I have a pretty high level of accreditation. " "Why is it hidden? I don't understand. " She shrugged. "It's probably top secret stuff. All of it is hidden AND redacted, so someone went to great lengths to hide it. I mean, it just says here that you left the navy right before you were supposed to join the other squad. But it also states you remained affiliated with the Galactic Republic… And that's it. There's nothing else in here. It's like you dropped off the face of the galaxy. " If she uncovered yet another mystery she had no idea how to solve, Y/N would jump off a cliff. She let out an aggravated groan, and Rose elbowed her arm gently. "Hey, don't lose hope. We know there's more to it; we just need someone to unlock the file. Luckily, one of the two people who can do that is your squad leader. Let's go ask Poe. " He could help. That was… reassuring. Whenever he was involved, Y/N had hope for the future. A certain je ne sais quoi about Poe Dameron ensured all problems were eventually solved. Or, at least, that was how she felt about them. Perhaps her admiration for the General caused a bias in her judgment… But anyway. That was a question for another day. Y/N turned to Rose with a big smile on her face. "Thank you so much for your help, Rose. I wouldn't have gotten that far without you. This means a lot to me. You've just given me so much information about my life… It's more than what I've learned in years. " Rose sheepishly shrugged, finding a sudden interest in a spot by the door. "Oh, you know, it's not much. Just doing my job. I'm happy I could help. Any friend of Finn is a friend of mine. " Y/N nodded, but as the mechanic logged off the honorable, she realized what she had just said. Finn? Why Finn in particular? Were the two close? Perhaps it was Klana's nosiness rubbing off on her, but Y/N leaned against the table very casually and asked: "Oh? I didn't know you two were close friends. That's great! " The not-so-subtle question caught Rose off guard, and she almost dropped her identification card, turning pink. "Oh, you know. We know each other, that's it. I wouldn't say we're close friends. I mean, we're friends, just not… You know. Finn is a really nice guy. " Maker. Did she have a crush on the General?! Y/N bit the inside of her cheek to refrain from squealing. Oh, she really hoped they could work it out. Rose was right; Finn was a great guy. And he, too, just like Poe, deserved to be happy. So, she decided to be a sneaky little lothcat, just for once. "Oh, yeah, he is. So appreciative of our work, too! The other day, I overheard him telling Poe that we wouldn't have found out about the bounty and where it came from without your impressive work. You can just tell he genuinely appreciates hard work. " Technically, Y/N wasn't lying. The conversation had happened. Finn hadn't precisely used the term 'impressive,' but the message was still pretty clear! Rose lit up instantly. "He did? Oh, that's… that's nice. " She fell silent after that, just for a second, before regaining her composure. "Well. Let's go see Poe. He just asked me how it was going, so he shouldn't be busy. He has the highest accreditation you can have. " So… It meant whatever was in here, Y/N would discover with him, right? That was… rather intimate. Well. Not really the right choice of word, but it was the correct sentiment. After the trip they had taken together to her old house (even if she had technically invited him to tag along), it was somewhat unnerving to realize he was the person who knew her the most. Well, besides Kit, at the time. Y/N wasn't quite sure how she felt about that.

She spent the way back to the control room thinking about it, coming short of an answer anyway. Lost in her thoughts, she had barely avoided knocking over a droid. If Rose had noticed, she hadn't said anything. Unlike what she had initially thought, Y/N found herself in front of a door that wasn't, in fact, the control room. The two women had stopped in front of Finn and Poe's office door. Y/N knew the place; it wasn't far from her room; she had already caught glimpses of the area when she walked by, and the door was ajar.  And she already knew Poe's office was way messier than Finn's. So it wasn't surprising, but it was amusing. Before they could knock, though, the door slid open, and Rey walked out. She had lost her smile, and her gait was far heavier than the last time Y/N had seen her.  Still, she looked up when she saw the two women and gave them a tired smile. "Rose, Y/N. It's good to see you. " There it was again. The feeling of the never-ending burden Rey carried at such a young age. Y/N could feel it, almost touch it. There was no doubt in her mind that Poe had broken the news to her and Finn. But Rose didn't know. So Rey stayed silent. "Are the Generals inside? We kinda need help with something. " The Jedi shrugged. "Yeah, they're here. They were talking when I left. Perhaps you can check if they're taking walk-ins? I'd go, but Poe and I… Well. You know how it goes, " she grimaced, and Rose laughed. Apparently, that was an inside joke. "Oh, I know. I'll check. " Rose disappeared through the first door with a nod, off to check on both of their leaders. The door closed with a soft hiss, and Rey and Y/N were left standing outside. "Poe told you, didn't he? " Y/N asked quietly. "He had to. But he certainly didn't want to. " "I didn't want to tell him either. " Rey put her hand on Y/N's shoulder, and the pilot turned to her. She wasn't smiling anymore. Instead, she was worried, a deep frown settling on her face.  "I know. But you did what you had to. And what you did was very brave. It helps us a lot. Knowledge is power. " "Is it, though? Because from where I stand, it has only brought you pain for now. You should have seen his face. " Rey sighed deeply and sat down on a nearby bench, and Y/N did the same. The hallway was quiet. Sometimes, a noise would echo from a few hallways away, reverberating to where they were sitting. "He is afraid. We all are. Scared that it's going to start again. Peace is fragile, and you know it just like I do. He doesn't want to see a new Palpatine rise. We've fought too hard to stop him. Our downfall came from within last time. This feels like the same thing all over again. Except for this time, we have the upper hand. " "Hence the silence about all of it, I assume. They're not going to tell anyone else. " Rey nodded, head resting against the wall. "No. The lot of us will share that burden alone. " Joyous perspective. Their discussion was interrupted by the door, and Rose waved Y/N in. "They're ready for us. " Y/N jumped to her feet. She had momentarily forgotten the reason for her presence in the first place. The mystery of her past was still there, hovering. Rey gave her an encouraging smile. "Thank you, Y/N. " She wasn't quite sure what she was being thanked for, but she nodded nevertheless. Y/N went after Rose with a deep sigh, burying her hands in her pants' pockets to keep herself from twiddling her thumbs. She was led to the office on the left, which appeared to be Poe's. On the opposite side of a small hallway, behind a door left open, Y/N could see an identical room - Finn's office. Well, identical aside from the mess, of course. Finn's office was spotless, save from a couple of trinkets - a scrap of metal from something that must have been dear to him, a medal sitting in a frame, and a… tiny stormtrooper? Plus a couple of files. And then… There was Poe's. Both were sitting at the desk, with Poe and Finn each on one side. Meaning at least a portion of the surface had been cleaned, but Poe still had stuff lying around. A charging station (on which BB-8 was resting) stood in a corner; the shelf behind Poe was filled with souvenirs. An old X-Wing helmet, pictures, trinkets from his travels… A flower necklace?! On top of his desk was a miniature X-Wing (a perfect replica of his ship, as Y/N soon noticed), the same framed medal she had seen on Finn's desk, a fidget toy in the form of a Starbird perched atop a tight spring. And several squad patches were pinned to a piece of fabric hanging from the wall; in the middle of the half-circle that made the desk stood a holoscreen. Y/N gulped nervously.  But then, her eyes met Poe's, and she instantly felt a little better, for some reason. "Tico, Thunderbird. How's your mission going? " "Well, Y/N and I found her file in the system. There are a couple of weird things, though. " Finn raised an eyebrow. "What weird things? " Rose's cheeks turned slightly pinker, and Y/N bit the inside of her cheeks. Oh, it was OBVIOUS, now. "Well. For starters, Y/N was registered under a false name. Also, even though the archives state she was still under the Republic's surveillance, nothing is documented past a canceled mutation, and no reason is given for that either. " Poe leaned back in his chair, arms crossed on his chest. His gaze was even more unnerving than usual, and Y/N ended up getting her hands out of her pocket and rubbing her arm. "You don't remember anything about that? " Was it an accusation? Did he believe she knew more than she was letting on? No, indeed, he didn't, right? That wasn't his style. He would have asked. She was reading too much into it; she was sure of it. "No. I remember losing everyone, but I don't know the details. There's just… a feeling. Of intense loss. " Poe's gaze softened. "Yes, we discovered her squad was entirely wiped out in an ambush. Y/N was the only survivor, " Rose added, sparing the pilot from having to say it out loud herself. "Maker, I'm so sorry, " Finn said. Y/N shrugged. It was a nice sentiment. "Why do you need our help, though? " Poe wondered out loud. "You two managed to find a lot of stuff. " "Well… The thing is, there is more, a lot more. But we can't access it. The rest of the file is classified, redacted, and hidden. I think your password might be the only one strong enough to unlock the rest of it. " Poe hummed in understanding and started typing on the keyboard, listening to Rose's instructions. As Poe pulled up Y/N's file, Finn quickly jumped to his feet and offered Rose his seat, insisting when she stammered and tried to decline. As for Y/N, she sat on the other one, directly facing Poe. "Alright. Tesla Therbera. Yeah, I see it—a bunch of hidden stuff in here. Let me declassify that. " Poe casually typed his password and- A red, bold, angry "ERROR "popped up on the screen. Poe frowned and tried again, but to no avail. "What the hell? " "Did you make a typo? You always make typos. " "No, Finn, I didn't make a typo. I checked. " "Why is it not working, then? " "Well, I don't know. You try yours, smartass. " Finn walked around the desk, leaning over the keyboard and typing his own password- Error.

"Did YOU make a typo? "  "Oh, shut up. There's obviously something going on. " The two men shared a look, which prompted Rose and Y/N to do the same. Something wasn't right. Of course. "BeeBee, wake up. Can you help us out? " The droid buzzed to life, his little head perking up as he awoke from his deep slumber, his red light blinking. He rolled down his charging station and plugged himself into the holo table. "See what you can get out of this file, buddy. " He beep-booped, and a couple of seconds went by before he let out an upset beep. Beep beep. The file is locked. Beep beep beep. It's set to a higher accreditation than yours. "What?! " Poe let out. "But that's not possible. Can you access the file's archive? Tell me who last edited it and who locked it. There must be a mistake. " BeeBee went back to work for a long while. And then… Beep Beep. Last edited and classified by Leia Organa. A heavy silence fell on the room. Y/N was suffocating in it. It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense! Why? Why would General Organa of the Resistance edit HER file?! Evidently, it was a mistake. Perhaps she had perused through various files one day, hers was on the list, and the system had accidentally locked it. Yes. That was probably it, wasn't it? If she had known the General, Ren would have known. She was his mother. He HAD to know. So, if he didn't know, then it was a mistake. "Are you sure, BeeBee? Double-check. Is there a list of accredited officials who can access the file? " The droid diligently checked again, but his beeps confirmed the verdict. "It's locked. Only Leia's code can open it, " Finn repeated incredulously. "But Rose, you can crack it, right? " The poor mechanic turned red as a Sith's saber. "No. I mean, technically, I can. But the archives of the Galactic Republic are all stored in the Senate's servers. And the security on this thing is pretty tight. I can't crack it from the outside. They would spot us from five lightyears away. " Poe frowned. "So… Let's say I take you to the Senate's server room. If you had your tools plus R2-D2 with all of Leia's stuff. You could technically crack it, right? " Rose gasped, and Y/N stared at him, mouth agape. No. He wasn't actually suggesting what she thought he was… "You want to hack the Senate?! " Finn exclaimed after a long moment. It sounded even crazier out loud! "When you say it like that, it sounds insane, " Poe conceded, grimacing. "But technically, it'd only be payback. Besides, Leia chose us to carry her legacy. Meaning we have a rightful right to access that file and everything else. " "Oh yeah, I'm sure the Chancellor would agree. " "Let's not ask him. " Rose timidly raised a hand to get the Generals' attention. "Sorry. Yes, Rose? " "I just wanted to say that I'll do it. I mean, if you fancy going through with that plan. I will only need time and a couple of things, but… I'll do it. " The three of them shared a look, and the two men dissolved in incoherent whispers, chatting with each other. Y/N leaned toward Rose. "Thank you. I appreciate it. " She smiled softly. "Anytime. " Her commlink went off right, and she stood up in precipitation, almost knocking over her seat. "Shoot! I have a meeting with Varun. I need to go. Let me know what you decide! And, uh… it was nice to meet you, Y/N. " Rose looked up, eyes falling on Finn. "Nice to see you. " And then, she bolted out of the door before the General could answer. Poe barely stifled a snort, and Finn glared at him. "You shut it. " With the second seat now free, he plopped down on it, letting out a long sigh. "I don't know. It doesn't sound like a good idea. Do we really want to risk getting caught? Especially after learning what we learned… " Y/N tentatively said after a moment. "I don't want you to get in trouble. It's not worth it. " "Of course, it's worth it, Y/N, " Finn interrupted. "Besides, if Leia went to such great lengths to hide something, it must be relevant. " Poe didn't say anything. His eyes were still fixated on the screen. BeeBee rolled to Y/N's side, nudging her leg gently, and the woman petted his head softly. "We'll do it. I'll pretext we need an audience with the Senate regarding the criminal activity in the outer rim. They need to set up actual police to regulate the mobs. " That Y/N could only agree with. Kit certainly wouldn't mind either. She hoped he would realize he had helped; Y/N had no doubt their meeting and Poe's realization two days prior had had a role to play. "Yeah, alright. In the meantime, I'll meet with our spies and have them look into the Senators and their entourage. We need to find out who put the bounty on your head. " Poe's face fell, and he let out a weary sigh. "We really do. " After a few seconds of tense silence, Y/N felt the need to intervene. She leaned forward. "They don't know we know. We have the upper hand here. Besides, we can always snoop around when we get here, too. See if anyone is uncomfortable around you. Or surprised to see you. " Poe sent her a strange look but didn't say anything. "You're right, Y/N. Let's do that. By the way, Poe told me what happened on Andooweel. Good job. I wish I could have seen it myself. " Y/N laughed at Finn's enthusiasm - and pride. Nothing she had done was worthy of admiration. Still, she appreciated it. "If you ever want to grab a sword, feel free to help yourself to the armory. Poe has a thing for exaggerating his squad's skills, but I have a feeling he told yours accurately. " "Hey! " Ignoring Finn's chuckle and BeeBee's humorous beep, Y/N glanced at Poe. Had he really been that impressed? He must have seen better; Rey was probably a much more skilled sword fighter than her. But, still… Perhaps Y/N could pick up a sword again. One that wasn't Ren's. The training wasn't a bad thing. That little escapade had reminded her that her skillset existed outside of the First Order. That she could use it to do good. And perhaps she could even help her friends again, one day.  "You know what? I'll think about it. " Finn nudged her knee and stood up. "Alright. I'll leave you to it. Rey bullied me into helping her clean the Falcon. I'll see you later. Poe, don't forget the meeting with General Brix tomorrow. " Poe let out an aggravated grunt, rolling his head around in exasperation. "I was hoping YOU'D forget. These meetings are always too long. " "Yeah, well, I'm not sitting through it alone. You're suffering with me. " Before his pilot friend could complain, he was out of the door, waving on his way out. Poe cursed lowly, and BeeBee beeped indignantly. "Language? You're one to talk. " BeeBee turned his head toward Y/N for support, but she merely shrugged. "I can't disagree with your dad here, sweetheart. " An offended beep came from the orange ball, and the two humans laughed.

After a moment of silence, Poe cleared his throat. "You okay? It can't be easy, getting a ball like that dropped on you." "I'm pretty sure you should ask Rey that," Y/N sighed. "She didn't look happy earlier." Poe gave a thoughtful nod and exchanged a look with his droid. "She didn't take it well. Palpatine took everything from her. Most of all, she's angry. We all are. But she'll be fine. And that wasn't the question." Y/N let out a long sigh. Poe had an annoying habit of always staying on topic and deflecting her attempts at deflection. He was whip-sharp, perhaps too much for his own good. Certainly too much for hers. She didn't know what to tell him, though. It was a lot to unpack. But Poe was always a great help for that, unbeknownst to him. So she started rambling. "I don't know. It's weird. I wind up with more questions than answers every time I come closer to understanding who I am. Today, I learned that I joined the Republic at eighteen. That I share my birth planet with Ren. That I had friends, an entire squadron, wiped out by separatists. I was the only survivor. And I don't remember them, I don't know their names or stories, but… I hate it. They were my friends. Not knowing who they were, keeps me from honoring their memory. And there's worse. I used to be one of the good guys. And what did I do with my life? I threw it all away and betrayed everything the Republic ever stood for. Kriff, I was supposed to join Alphabet squad and destroy the very thing I became. It's like… Like I've lived two lives at once. Every time I learn something new, I feel like I'm getting a step further from learning who I am. And I'm sorry for dropping that on you. I know you were just polite." Her eyes were stubbornly glued to the floor. Y/N didn't like to ramble- it wasted everyone's time. Poe's hand landed on hers. "I wasn't polite. And I'm sorry. I can't imagine what it's like. But your past doesn't define you, Y/N. I can't tell you who you were, but I can tell you that right now, you're Resistance. You're a valuable part of my squad and my friend. And that's not much, but it's a start." Oh, she could just hug him right now. Instead, Y/N nodded and gave him the ghost of a smile.  "It's more than a start. Thank you, Poe." He grinned. "You might rethink your gratitude once you see what I have planned for the lot of you tomorrow. It's been ages since our last flight, and I'm not going to go easy on you." Y/N slouched against the back of her chair, letting out an exaggerated groan, to which Poe answered with a laugh. He was right, though; it had been quite some time since their last flying mission. They parted ways with that thought in mind and the need for an actual night of sleep in her head. Poe walked her back to the door, telling her they would leave for Coruscant in a few days. After all, they couldn't afford to fly around all year round. They had missions. Poe had responsibilities - a lot of them. And Y/N… Well, Y/N had to find a hobby. And she also had a lot to think about. After kissing BeeBee's head and awkwardly parting ways with Poe, Y/N walked back to her room. Even though she had just woken up earlier from a nap, she was still tired. What they had dumped on her was pretty consequent, and it had taken every sliver of energy Y/N had left. She didn't even bother to grab some food; instead, she changed back into her pajama as soon as she reached her room and passed out on the bed. The last thing she could think about as she reached the brink of consciousness was how much more peaceful it was to sleep when Poe was here.

Poe wasn't wrong. He did NOT go easy on them. When he wasn't in a meeting, they were flying. Tiring missions all over the galaxy - not too far, though. They were never away for more than half a day. Though their daily flights required concentration, they didn't run into any trouble. The X-Wings flew peacefully across the stars, skimming past asteroids, wings brushing against the surface of the water they passed. When they touched the ground after a day of flying, Y/N was sore but happy. Alone in the hull of her ship, she had time to think, especially when they were in hyperspace, surrounded by silence and bright stars zooming past them. Poe was right, as he often was; her past wasn't who Y/N was. Even without knowledge of the conflicting existence that had been hers before the bleep, Y/N had paved herself a way through the Galaxy. Being part of the Resistance was who she was. She wasn't a traitor to one side or the other. She had merely done her best with what she had been given at the time. Still, it was nice to know something, and Y/N couldn't wait to uncover more, despite the possible repercussions. Leia's name on her file was a haunting mystery. Whenever she had some time off between the flights, she thought about it but couldn't come up with anything.  So, instead, Y/N counted the days until their trip. It took a week for Poe to put the heist team together. Y/N's commlink beeped once, early in the morning, and she packed a small bag with a few items. It beeped a second time a couple of hours later, and she made her way to the landing strip, where her X-Wing was being prepared. Poe was leaning against its side, watching BB-8 and R2D2 as the two engaged in a conversation. He smiled when Y/N reached the three of them. "General," she greeted. "Looking sharp." His orange flight suit was strapped on, sporting his rank and patches. A couple of meters away, his ship waited. Ah, so they would both go there with their usual starship. Y/N was curious to hear his plan. "Thunderbird. Right on time. We'll take the X-Wings and escort the crew of mechanics to Coruscant. Then, we have a meeting with a representative from the Senate. We should be back late tonight if things go well." Meaning: if they didn't get caught hacking into the Senate's servers and get thrown into a cell. What a rejoicing perspective.  Y/N knew there were a lot of things left untold. She also knew the expedition they were embarking on was perilous; the details were better left silent until they were both sure nobody was eavesdropping.  So, with a nod in Poe's direction, Y/N grabbed her helmet and ensured her jumper was on correctly. With the X-Wing's technology, they should reach Coruscant in about two hours. So they would have plenty of time to talk about the plan without any risk of interruption, considering how short-ranged hyperaware transmission was. As Y/N was about to put her helmet on, she noticed R2D2 approaching. The droid stopped by her feet, and she smiled. "Hello there. Are you my droid for the day?" He beeped, and Y/N crouched down to his level. "Alright, then. My name's Y/N Thunderbird, but you probably know that already. It's an honor to be your pilot today. Shall we?" He beeped again happily, and Y/N grinned as she climbed the ladder leading to her cockpit. R2D2 was dropped gently in his spot behind her while the pilot fastened her belt. Mala's voice came on her radio, noticing Poe that the ship full of mechanics was ready for takeoff. The canopy closed on Y/N, isolating her from the outside noise. "Blue Five, what's your status?"  "Ready for takeoff, Black Leader." "Then let's go and visit our favorite Senators, shall we?" Y/N snorted, and the engines thrust her forward in the sky of Kuat; soon enough, the planet was only a tiny yet bright ball behind them, right before they jumped into the hyperspace lane. It was silent for a few minutes, save from the occasional beeps from the commands. Then, once Y/N had made sure the coordinates were accurate and the autopilot was on, she made herself comfortable in her tiny seat, visor up, head turned toward the stars. The odd tranquility that came from such a dizzying speed was one she welcomed peacefully. And then, after the silence, came the familiar crackle of the Hyperwave receptor. Y/N took the call. "Black Leader. It's been a while." Poe didn't stifle his snort. "Miss me already, Blue Five? Alright. We have about half an hour before we need to make another jump and branch out into another lane. Let's talk." "Do we have a plan?" "Actually, for once, we do. We need to sneak Rose into the server room so she can make a copy of the file. Once we have extracted it from the server, she can work on cracking it back home without worrying about triggering the Senate's security system. We'll need AreToo to do that. Meanwhile, BeeBee will power down their detection system, and we will create a diversion." "This time, YOU handle the diversion," Y/N muttered, only to realize a second later that she had said it out loud in her open commlink. She grimaced, cursing her stupidity in her head as Poe fell silent on the other side. What an idiot, really- "You might not find my idea as enjoyable as yours, but hey, you asked." …Enjoyable? Wait. Had he just- "We have a meeting scheduled with the sitting Chancellor's advisor. We're lucky; he was just drafted and is eager to start his two-months presidency with a bang. So his son is thoroughly interested in hearing our opinion on galactic security." Of course, only Poe Dameron would drop a comment like that and leave Y/N to overthink everything while he went on without a care in the world. "Okay, um… Who's the sitting Chancellor?" "Our good pal Senator Xalun. The guy from Forsen, from the gala?" Ah, yes, the guy who had mistaken her for someone else's daughter. How could she forget? "And we're meeting with his son." "Yeah. I believe the name's Jaso or something. Nice guy, really hardcore politician. I met him once. Funnily enough, he's the one handling the dismantling of old First Order warships… Including the Finalizer." Y/N didn't really know what to make of that. She had… conflicting feelings about that ship. It had been her home for a long time but had caused so much pain... And so many deaths, too. Its disappearance was expected, but she had never really thought about it until now. She knew the retired star destroyers grounded on a planet in the outer regions, out of the Resistance's reach, but she had never been there before. How much had the ship been taken apart already? Did it really matter? Poe said something after that, but she barely registered it. She was thinking hard about something entirely different. A frown formed on Y/N's face, and then- "Poe. I can't go with you." "What?" "I can't meet with Jaso Xalun. I know him. We've met before. On Forsen. When I was an officer. Kylo took the 204th with him to intimidate them because he thought they were helping you." She heard him curse. He, too, had forgotten to close his side of the communication. "He's already expecting you; I told him you'd be here for the security clearance. Besides, the Senate has access to our files. They probably know who you are by now. If they haven't come forward with any complaint, then they don't care. I doubt Jaso would do anything to jeopardize his father's Chancellorship. Is that even a word? …BeeBee, you're not helping." Y/N chuckled. He was right. Probably. Supposedly. Her identity wasn't a secret, and the Senate had eyes everywhere. It wasn't as comforting as Poe thought it was, though. Sure, the Resistance had been accepting, and they were probably the most likely to despise her. But the First Order had gathered a lot of enemies from across the galaxy. One couldn't anticipate their reaction should they become aware of her whereabouts during the beginning of the war. Still, it was useless to worry about that now. Y/N couldn't do anything about it, and she had no way to stop the spread of knowledge. So instead, she readjusted her sitting position and listened to Poe's breathing over the radio. It was rather relaxing. Was he aware of it? Surely, BeeBee would have told him by now… But he kept it on until they arrived.

As soon as they had touched the ground, the Senate's workers surrounded them, assaulting the mechanics' ship with heavy machinery and various crates and coming after Y/N and Poe with questions. On their way to the main building, they crossed paths with Rose, who tapped on her ear discreetly. Both droids followed them through the golden doors, and they disappeared inside. The building was as opulent as Y/N remembered. The marble floor of the hallway allowed little discretion as every little sound reverberated against the high ceiling. Soon enough, the footsteps of the four humans -two pilots and two guards- were joined by another pair, coming from further down the hall. They turned around and were greeted by a smiling face. Though Y/N had forgotten his face, she recognized him at first glance. Dressed in costly green silk, the color of his home planet, Jaso Xalun made his way toward them. He couldn't have been older than Y/N, and he was pretty handsome and exuded confidence. He must have taken after his mother, for he didn't share any particularly prominent physical features with his father. His short hair was combed to the side, and his eyes were bright and full of intelligence. Yet, they didn't light up when he glanced at her. Perhaps Poe was wrong, and he didn't know anything. "General Dameron, Miss Thunderbird. It's a pleasure to have you back. But, please, let me offer you our hospitality. We shall give you food and drinks when we get to the meeting room. You must be famished." Not really, but Y/N would never say no to free food. Jaso nodded toward the guards, and they walked away, leaving the three of them alone. Then, with a polite half-bow, Jaso gestured to the hallway before him. "Be my guests." He was very polite, that was for sure. Poe and Y/N closed the way, Jaso walking in front of them. They walked past a few windows through which Y/N could see the entire city. It was beautiful, though overwhelming. "I must admit, I wasn't expecting you," he said as they took another turn. "General Finn and Miss Rey were here a mere week ago." "We don't usually come here that often," Poe conceded. "But the situation calls for it. Y/N and I had to escort our mechanics; they have to stock up on a classified new technology I barely understand anything about. We've also just returned from a mission in the outer regions, and we need to talk." Jaso nodded, his face somber. "Indeed. I have heard about the bounty on your head, General. A shame. It is a good thing that it somehow was canceled. My father is looking into it, and the Senate is deeply concerned. I am glad everything is back to normal, though I wonder where it came from… " The two pilots shared a look. Oh, yeah, really mysterious. Y/N wondered if they would trace the funds back to the Senate… And if they would tell Poe and Finn. "Though that is concerning, it isn't why we are here, Vice-Chancellor," Y/N interrupted, unsure if she was addressing him properly, but he didn't correct her. "We have significant concerns about the rise of organized crime in the outer rim. What we witnessed is worrying and needs to be addressed by the institution." They reached a mundane door in front of which Jaso stopped. "You're right. That is a concern for another time. But please, call me Jaso." He opened the double doors and stepped inside, gesturing toward the droids. "These two will need to stay outside, as you know. Standard protocol." Poe nodded but didn't say anything, mainly because that was precisely what he wanted. Instead, Y/N offered a polite smile as BeeBee faked a whine of protest. Y/N closed the door behind them with a wink in his direction. The room was far less opulent than the hallway but still very disproportionate. Huge couches and a huge bay window stretched over the room's entire length, and the table between the seats was already covered with various treats. Poe and Y/N sat together on a couch as Jaso took a seat in front of them. The leather was smooth and so comfy. It must have cost a fortune. As a service droid swept in and served the two pilots a glass of water, Jaso observed his guests, and his gaze settled on Y/N. "Pardon my forwardness, Miss, but I do believe we have met before. Your face is awfully familiar." Ah, shit. So much for being incognito. "We have, indeed," Y/N sighed after taking a sip from her glass. "On Forsen, a few years ago. In the presence of Kylo Ren." His face lit up with recognition. "You were the Captain of the Shadow Wing. I remember you. Truly, a remarkable career change… Though a welcome one. You look much happier in orange than you did in black." Y/N smiled. Yes, that was… putting it mildly. "Also, you're not pointing a gun at my face this time, which is far more enjoyable." Ah. Y/N had forgotten that part of their meeting. She winced and mumbled an apology as Jaso laughed, amused. Poe raised an eyebrow but didn't push the matter further. They couldn't be obvious about their wish to stall for time. "I do recall that particular incident. I remember you being especially interested in Ren, even with the gun pointed to your head." Y/N could feel Poe's gaze on the side of her face. Again, though, Jaso wasn't fazed by her implicit question. If anything, he raised an impressed eyebrow, joining his hands in front of him under his chin. Then, with his legs crossed, he leaned forward slightly. "You have a good memory." HAH! Hardly. "I was particularly interested in learning about your leader's powers to try and find a flaw in his armor. A crack in his plan. This proved harder than anticipated. The abilities of a Sith are unmatched, perhaps even by the Jedi…. " He trailed off, eyes lost in the distance. Behind him, a ship flew by the window. "Not that we had any of those lying around at the time. Knowing your enemy is the first step to beating them." He was smart. Perhaps not enough to take on Kylo Ren, as he lacked the means to carry out any plan he might have had, but still- it was impressive. And Y/N was quite surprised Ren hadn't picked up on it. He would have been too busy plotting to conquer the galaxy anyway. "Do you always pay attention so closely to the opposition?" Poe interrupted. "An interesting trait for a politician. It's a surprise you're not part of the military council, astute as you are." Y/N knew him well enough to read behind the polite tone. Something wasn't right. Poe had sensed something; Y/N, too, felt something was off about their interlocutor, but then again, she tended to be wary of any politician. And Jaso appeared to be very good at being one of them. So, perhaps Poe was overzealous and gave him a hard time on purpose.  Though Y/N knew him well… She wouldn't dare to pretend she understood how his mind worked. He was far too bright for her to comprehend. So she chose to simply keep quiet and watch the situation unfold. Jaso gave him a polite smile and a slight shrug. "We're a small planet, General, far from the Republic's protection. Being one step ahead of everyone, especially those who seek to wrong us, is our ultimate means of survival. Which is why I'm interested in hearing your experience with the criminal scums of the outer regions." Smooth transition. Poe didn't protest; instead, he settled into the comfortable couch, one arm resting inconspicuously on the back of it and his left ankle sitting on his right thigh. He was the perfect picture of someone who was at ease, unabashed. On the contrary, Y/N sat crossed-legged, listening to him talk in reverence while trying to make herself invisible. She was only an accessory anyway.

Poe swiftly told Jaso about their trip, minus a few essential details. He told him about the militia on Tatooine, the mobsters, the crime, and the distrust in the Senate. It was apparent Poe had significantly been affected by their trip and was genuinely concerned with the people's safety. Of course, he had always been a fervent defender of the underdogs, so it wasn't surprising. Still, he was passionate, and it was so enjoyable to see. Even Jaso wasn't interrupting and was entirely focused on the General. Leia would have been so proud of him; she undoubtedly was, watching from the other side; Y/N was sure of it. "Which is the reason why we believe something must be done," Poe concluded, determined. "You won't hear me saying it isn't vital to go after the remaining separatists. I've been fighting them my whole life, and they are dangerous. But we can't let ourselves forget why we were fighting in the first place. It has always been for the people. To give them a good life, a safe life. We can't fulfill that promise if we don't care for the crime that plagues their cities. Besides, organized crime and separatist activity often tie together, wouldn't you say?" Okay, he definitely knew something Y/N didn't. Also, his speech had given her chills. It appeared to have convinced Jaso as well because he thoughtfully nodded. "You make some compelling points, General. What about you, Miss Thunderbird? What has been your experience on this topic? Your file states you have visited various planets during your time in the Order and on the run." …Oh, wait, SHE was Miss Thunderbird. Why did he care about her opinion on the topic? Poe had been pretty thorough. Still. She would gladly testify if her testimony was the missing piece that would drive Poe's ideal home. "I have met many people, sir- Jaso. Seen many cultures. Lived amongst some of them. And despite the differences, everyone wishes for the same things; prosperity, peace, and security. Everyone in the Galaxy agreed that during the war, the focus should be on the First Order. That the pressing matter was the imperials. But the war is over. People want the change they were promised. The Republic, the First Order, the Alliance, the Empire… It doesn't matter who's on top if they suffer all the same. We need to be there for them. Because they sure were there for us when we needed them the most—time to pay it forward. Besides, as Poe said, this is what it was always about, wasn't it? They won't trust us anymore if we fail to provide basic security. And trust is what the Republic stands on. Why would people try to destroy a system that cares about them?" Jaso stared at them for what felt like an eternity, but Poe wasn't looking back at him. Instead, his eyes were glued to Y/N's face. Had she said something she wasn't supposed to? "You're correct—both of you. I agree with everything you said, and I will forward the motion to my father. We shall host a vote on the matter as soon as possible." Poe gave a sharp nod and a thanks Y/N didn't quite register- as suddenly, the lights went off, then back on, and a siren rang for a few seconds before going off. All three of them rose to their feet with concern, though the two pilots had a good feeling about that commotion. Kriff! Y/N hoped Rose wasn't in trouble. "I'll go check it out; stay here," Poe stated, grabbing his blaster from his holster. He disappeared behind the door, leaving Y/N and Jaso behind. Jaso showed no sign of particular angst; if anything, he was amused. "What is so funny?" Y/N asked, and he grinned. "The swiftness with which he jumped into action. Also, the stupid droid who probably knocked something over and gave half of our security service a scare. Third time this week." Y/N joined him and laughed. It was a very plausible explanation, one Y/N was glad they could rely on to explain whatever was going on. "You would be surprised how often they get into trouble back on Kuat," she answered. "I had to rescue my fair share of them from murderous crates." Jaso laughed softly before his face grew more serious, and he studied her again. His gaze was unsettling, but not like Poe's. Very much unlike Poe's, in fact, though Y/N couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. They remained silent for five minutes before he spoke up again. "You know, Miss Thunderbird, I understand why Kylo Ren was so adamant about having you lead his best team. You are surprisingly sharp for a pilot." Y/N raised her eyebrows at that, and he must have understood how offensive that statement was because Jaso raised both hands in appeasement. "I did not mean it like that. I mean that having a sharp mind for politics and being well-spoken and solution-oriented aren't generally traits primarily selected in pilots. Yet, you managed to score an overwhelming talent in piloting and a brilliant political instinct." "Thank you, Jaso," she blurted out, suddenly feeling very put on the spot. "I merely do my best to be of help to the Generals. They're the true force behind anything we do." He smiled patiently. "A cause is only as great as its supporters are. You don't give yourself enough credit. You know, we could use people like you in the Senate. No, actually, we could use you in the Senate. I don't suppose General Dameron would be so keen on letting you go?" Wait, WHAT? Was he trying to poach her from the Resistance? Y/N didn't know whether to feel offended or proud of herself. She let out an amused gasp. "Me? In the Senate? With all due respect, no way in hell. I have no doubt it would be a great job opportunity for someone, but it isn't for me. I love working for Poe- for the Resistance," she corrected herself. "I love flying; much more than I have ever enjoyed talking to people. It was a role I played out of necessity, not out of interest." "Yet, you told me a minute ago that you seek to put your skills to the best use possible. I feel like half of the is being ignored right now." "Perhaps," Y/N conceded. "But I trust their leadership and their use of whatever they see in me. Also, you don't have a BB-8. You can't compete with the Resistance." He burst out laughing right as the door opened and Poe walked in, blaster casually resting back in its holster. Y/N caught a glimpse of two droids behind him before he closed the door. They were back! "So? Crisis averted?" "Yep. Some droid knocked over a box of stuff that short-circuited the alarm, but the security system kicked in." Jaso winked at Y/N, and she snorted. Yeah… The droid in question was likely BeeBee, but he didn't need to know that.

"Anyway, we won't bother you any longer. Thank you for seeing us on such short notice. I look forward to working with the Senate on that new project." Ah, the signal that the mission was indeed complete. Y/N and Jaso stood back up, and he smiled at Poe.  "Always a pleasure. I will walk you back to your ships. I believe your crew should be done with their mission." Y/N and Poe exchanged a knowing glance, and the three of them went back on their tracks, roaming through the never-ending hallway until they reached the landing strip again. He had been correct in his assumption; the cargo ship was fully loaded, with the mechanics carrying the last crates of equipment.  Jaso turned to the two pilots with a smile on his face. "Well, I believe it is time to part ways. But, General, I'm sure we will meet again soon. As for you, Miss Thunderbird… Please consider my offer. I am convinced it would be mutually beneficial." Y/N rubbed the back of her neck as Poe shot her an utterly confused look. "I appreciate it very much, Jaso, but as I stated earlier, I'm happy with my current situation." Poe's face lit up with understanding, and he frowned. Uh-oh. "Are you trying to poach my pilot?" "Merely offering her options. Even for double your salary?" "You're trying to poach my pilot," Poe repeated in disbelief, with BeeBee backing up his assumption with a high-pitched beep. "I'm not after money," Y/N explained with a smile.  Before she could add anything else, Y/N felt Poe's hand landing on her back as she stepped closer to her, a polite smile on his face, but his eyes were way colder than she was used to. "I know that finding talented people like Y/N is difficult, but she's too valuable for me to approve any transfer anyway. So I suggest you try and find an aide in the Republic's ranks, Vice-Chancellor." Wow! Aggressive much? Jaso chortled. "You're awfully defensive, General Dameron. I was merely making her an offer. Though I see now that it is pointless. Her loyalty to you is truly astonishing. In any case, I look forward to hearing about your following missions. I will keep you updated on the vote. We shall meet again." And with one last polite nod, he disappeared back into the building, leaving two dumfounded pilots behind. It wasn't until Y/N cleared her throat that Poe realized his hand was still on her back, and he took it away with a mumbled apology. As for BeeBee, he stared at the door for a second longer and sent a very rude beep toward Jaso, which got Poe to chuckle and Y/N to gasp. "Sweetheart! Language!" "Couldn't have put it better myself," Poe answered. "What a shitty power move. I don't know what he was trying to do here, but if the Senate starts meddling with the army, I'm going to have a word with the Generals." "You were disrespectful; he was only polite. Besides, I'm flattered he considers me Senate-worthy. Even though I'd rather freeze my ass off in Hoth than get back into politics." "I'm sure you were," Poe mumbled, walking away toward the mechanics. Rose's jet-black hair could be seen from behind the ship's wing, and Y/N was looking forward to hearing about her mission. Had she retrieved the file? But first… "What is THAT supposed to mean?" She wheezed, offended. Poe turned around, walking backward as he faced her with an amused look. "It means he was flirting with you, you blind womprat," he answered with an exaggerated eye roll. Y/N huffed. "No, he was NOT." "Like you would know, honestly." He hurried toward Rose, but that wasn't accounting for Y/N's stubbornness and physical shape. She sprinted for ten meters to catch up with him, followed closely by the two droids who were very invested in their discussion. "Of course, I'd know. I'm actually really good at picking it up-" Poe laughed in her face. "Remember that guy from communications? Lieutenant Odinson?" "Yeah, he helped me out with my datapad the other day. Super nice guy." "I'm sure him being so obliging had nothing to do with his sudden interest in you and the many questions he asked pilots before meeting you." Y/N scoffed. That was SO fake. "Do you keep tabs on everyone's crushes like that?" She countered, trying to throw Poe off his game. He really enjoyed teasing her. "Only on the people who run into me with a damn plate of soup because they're making heart eyes at the subject of their infatuation." Y/N let out a noise that was a mix between a wheeze and an embarrassed gasp. Wait. Was he right? Was he pulling her leg? She wasn't that oblivious, was she? "Okay, in that case, please don't mention it in front of Klana." "Depends. Are you going to take Xalun's offer?" "You're such an asshole, General."

Someone cleared their throat, and the two bickering pilots turned around, only to find poor Rose standing with an amused look she was trying to hide desperately.  "General. Y/N. The… Mission was a success." They exchanged a glance and leaned forward, voices dropping. "Did you find the file?" "Yes. R2D2 used Leia's old access codes to unlock the firewall, and I copied it on his hard drive. It took longer than expected, which is why BeeBee had to create a diversion…. " Ah. THAT was why. "But, General, there's something else. When I was in here, I almost got caught by two guards. And I heard them talking. One of them said something about ghosts haunting the place because it was the fifth time that month he had heard footsteps in the server room, and nobody was there. The last time was two days ago, so he was freaking out because the ghosts were coming more often. I thought it was weird." Y/N's blood froze, and from the look on Poe's face, his did, too. They must have been thinking the same thing. Sure, anyone could sneak into a secured room for a reason. Perhaps the place was actually haunted, even. But judging from what they knew… It couldn't be a coincidence, right? Whoever wanted to contact Gideon and warn him about their secret mission would probably use the Senate's encrypted lines, hidden behind the protective firewall. Nobody would look there, after all… "Thank you, Rose. We'll keep that in mind." Y/N stepped forward and hugged Rose. Now that everything was taken care of, she realized virtually nothing separated her from her past life besides a bunch of code and a few days' worths of hacking. The risks Rose had taken for her were really high. "Thank you so much." "Don't thank me yet! I still have to decrypt the file. It might take weeks." "I've waited almost ten years. A few weeks is nothing." She let the poor woman go, and they exchanged a nod. Around them, the mechanics were running around, carrying the last crates around on the golden floor of the landing strip. Coruscant's sun shone its last rays as it descended on the capital's sky, coloring the tall building with red and orange hues that reflected on the metal of the skyscrapers. Traveling like this, with back-to-back flights, wasn't really comfortable, and their reunion had lasted longer than anticipated, meaning they would arrive in the middle of the night. Still, it was a fair price to pay for the day's achievements. As the mechanics and the Coruscant staff made the last check-ups on the three ships, Y/N sat against her X-Wing, basking in the setting sunlight. R2D2 joined her side, and the two of them chatted as he recalled his version of the day's events and how he had infiltrated the server room. He was a brilliant little guy.  After a few more minutes of waiting, they were finally cleared for takeoff, and Y/N took place in her ship, R2D2 behind her as the canopy closed over her head. Then, with one last transmission to the control tower, the three starships took off, disappearing in the burning sky of the planet. It wasn't until about an hour later, while they were speeding past bright stars in the silence of hyperspace that Y/N gathered the courage to call Poe. He picked up instantly. "Yes?" "I've meant to ask you something. I understand if it's not my place to ask, so feel free to tell me off. But… Jaso. What you told him. You said that organized crime and separatist activity work together. Are there recent reports of that? Besides the obvious, since he doesn't know we know but he seemed to know what you were talking about." The answer took a few seconds to come. When Poe spoke up again, he sounded tired, even through the static eating at his voice in the commlink. "Finn and Rey. They… Had a meeting with the Chancellor a few days ago. He told them the results of the investigation they conducted on the prisoners we freed from Wobani. They managed to send them all back home, and… Every single one of them came from a Senate-controlled planet. And I don't mean low-ranked allied planets. I mean powerful worlds, on the forefront of the fight against separatists." Y/N sighed deeply. That wasn't good. "They think the separatists are provoking the Senate," she theorized. Poe hummed in his radio. "Yes, but we know better. Whoever put the bounty on my head also had these people selected for their midichlorian counts and captured. And they're in the Senate." "Do you think it has been infiltrated?" "No. Those people were around way before the war ended. So I don't think the answer is that obvious, which worries me." After that, he fell silent, even turning off his side of the radio, trapping Y/N in a heavy silence. The world of possibilities haunted her, and she didn't like that. She didn't appreciate not knowing who the enemy was. You couldn't fight shadows. But hey, what did Ren often say to her? Trust the process. They would uncover the truth; she just knew it. And she would put her skills for Poe to use however he pleased because that was what she was helpful for. Helping him out. And Jaso could never compete with that. Perhaps she could still negotiate a raise, though.

When they landed on Kuat, it was two in the morning, and everything was quiet. The ships touched the ground with a soft thud, and Y/N powered off her engine. The rest of their trip hadn't eased her worries, and she was jittery when she jumped off the X-Wing. Rose popped up from inside the shuttle and made her way toward AreToo. Y/N didn't quite catch everything she was saying, but she did understand bits of it. Rose instructed him to go to her office and plug himself— probably in her holo table so she could work on the file later on. With a slight wave in Y/N's direction, she disappeared into the base, off to get some much-needed sleep. Y/N handed her helmet to a cleaning droid, checked on her ship one last time, and made her way toward the base's entrance with her bag on her back. "Y/N, wait!" Poe jogged up to her. His hair was a mess, courtesy of hours of helmet wear. "Come with me for a moment. I need to see you in my office." …At two in the morning? Y/N's heart almost stopped. Getting called into an officer's office was rarely a happy occurrence. But Poe wasn't pissed at her, so she wasn't about to get an earful, right? She shared a look with BeeBee, but he ignored her silent questioning and followed after Poe. With a sigh, Y/N followed them too. The trip to his office was the longest of her life. She didn't know what to think. However, when she reached his door, she realized Skylen was sitting on the bench she had been on a few days earlier. He was tired but had a bright smile, which only confused her even more. Y/N tried to ask him what was going on, but Poe ushered her inside the room before she had a chance. She had expected to find the office empty but was quickly proven wrong. Klana and Finn were there, sitting respectively in a chair and on Finn's desk. Ignoring the women's confused look (apparently, Klana was as clueless as she was), Poe mumbled something to Finn, who nodded. "Please, stand up, both of you. At attention." Both pilots straightened their backs, standing with their hands behind them. A look of recognition crossed Klana's features, but she kept quiet, and Y/N sunk further into her lack of understanding. Finn stood next to Klana, a barely repressed smile on his lips, as Poe walked up to her, holding something she couldn't quite recognize. "Usually, we would do that during the day, but considering the bad news we've received recently, I think we can all use a night when we go to sleep with good ones," Poe started. This was… sad and accurate. And Y/N recognized Leia's teachings in his words. "It has been brought to our attention lately that your attitude in missions has been worthy of admiration," Finn continued, his smile breaking through his General mask. "You went above and beyond in your recent assignments, carrying your tasks with excellent efficiency and impressive devotion." Aw, that was so nice of him to say. Klana's cheeks turned pink, but Y/N was sure hers were Sith red. That was… A nice sentiment at two in the morning, but she still didn't understand the meaning of this- "Which is why after consulting with each other, General Finn and myself have decided to promote you." …WAIT, WHAT THE HELL- Y/N's eyes went wide, and her heart stopped as Finn pulled out a rank badge and stood before Klana, who was ready to pass out from excitement. "Lieutenant Klana Omaso, I hereby make you Captain of the Resistance." He pinned the insignia on her jacket, and Klana bit the inside of her cheek to avoid squealing, as Y/N noticed. But her full attention was on Poe, who had walked up to her with a rank of his own. He looked into her eyes as he spoke up. "Y/N Thunderbird, it is my pleasure to hereby make you Lieutenant of the Resistance." And while he put the velcro patch on her flight suit and held the insignia for her to take, she realized something quite frightening. …She could very much kiss him out of joy right now, and it concerned her to no end.

[benito-flakes]

Hi M&M, how are you all? I'm currently a singlet, but we have a question about being parogenic: as we said,

I'm a singlet struggling with spacing out (not like a petit-mal, we've had those before, this is different) and occasional depersonalization. (like brief emotional numbing) independent decision-making is also really hard, and researching my special interests makes me feel like a new person, like they don't belong to my core self. It's as if I create different personas to deal with each interest. we feel creating alters would help with putting a face to my inner thoughts. like the personification of the emotions and islands in inside out and we'd like to use plural pronouns because we are different thoughtforms for each interest.,but we don't know if this is ridiculous and rude to explicitly traumagenic systems. Like, is it offensive to start identifying as plural partway through life when you have no prior explicit trauma and you view yourself as a clearly separate bunch of emotions and interests, rather than a unified sense of self, and you believe it helps with decision making.

Hi Anon, we are well, thanks for asking! Let's go over your questions...

First off, let me be clear and say that it is perfectly fine if you/you& have discovered your plurality at a later point in life, or if you've created your plurality through parogenic means at an older age. There is no set time for self-discovery, and if you're just figuring these things out now, all the more power to you!

Second, your existence isn't offensive. Your identity and experiences are perfectly valid, and whether or not others agree is not really your problem. Nobody else has the right to dictate your validity as a system/singlet/anything in between. Systems can form without trauma, and they can form at any point in a person's life. Some don't believe in this sentiment, and it's quite a topic of discourse in the wider plural community. Nonetheless, here we believe in and support endogenic systems, non-traumagenic systems, and created/tulpa/parogenic systems. To us, your identity is real and utterly unproblematic. Try your best to be understanding and friendly when interacting with traumagenic systems (and all systems regardless of origin as a whole) and remember that other plural's systems may function differently from your own. If you remain respectful of other's experiences, I don't think that most non-sysmeds would find you/you& to be rude.

We wish you& the best of luck with your thoughtforms, thank you so much for reaching out!^^

-M&M System

[bakugohoex]

“probably married to this dumbass”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: pro hero (aged up) fluff, language, implied 18+ and kissing 

word count: 2600+

a/n: i was in the mood to write some bakugo i have three requests atm so if you guys want to send in more i’ll write someee

summary: in which you and bakugo get interviewed on a talk show on what it’s like being pro hero, what turns into a simple where do you see yourself in five years leads to your relationship being announced on live tv

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

You and Bakugo were in love, you knew it, your friends knew it. The people of Japan however had no idea, you were seen just as partners on patrols when out and about. They had no idea of the lewd things Bakugo whispered in your ear as you tried to make sure there was no crime going on. His aim of being the number one hero was becoming a reality, his personality from UA had changed, he may still be the loud explosive man, but he was sometimes kind to civilians. You stress the sometimes.

He would help people get up and tell them off for falling, his logic made sense, but you still loved him even if half the time he was screaming. You had both been asked to be on a talk show that aired at night so nothing you and Bakugo ever saw as you spent many hours at your shared apartment fucking.

It was a love language for the shouty man, and you wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t love coming home to be pinned against a wall. Feeling ever so small under his gaze filled with lust and love.

“You’re telling me, me and Y/n have to be on a fucking show.” He hollered at one of the girls who was currently interning.

“Don’t shout Katsuki.” You mutter giving a more sympathetic look to the poor girl. “It might be fun.”

“Fun.” He raised as eyebrow shouting, as he dragged you to a secluded area of the hero agency. “Fun would be making you beg for my dick; this is not my idea of fun princess.”

You rolled your eyes at his comment as his arm rested on the wall, he leaned further and further towards you. “If we go then tomorrow we get the day off.” You move your finger up his arm to his shoulder, “we can do whatever you want to do.”

You were taunting him; he gave a smirk however falling right into it. You couldn’t lie you wanted to get dressed up and gain some attention. “Whatever I want yeah.”

“Whatever you want baby.” You cooed as he smirked, he watches as your hands moved to his hero costume, his exposed neck as you brushed your finger across it about to move it to his lip to brush against.

He quickly walks away as you huff as the lack of contact, not even a kiss goodbye. You followed as you saw him storm to the girl who looked scared for her life, he must��ve said an okay as she gave a small smile to you. You smiled back before Bakugo came back.

“It’s at 7, they want us to look nice for the reputation of the agency or whatever.” He crosses his arms leaning against the desk you had leant against.

You were all giddy now, happy that you were able to look pretty, even with your very much exposed hero costume due to your quirk needing more skin contact, you still wanted to feel pretty in something that you didn’t associate with hero work. “I know you’re happy to look all amazing, but even if you turned up in a bin bag you’d still be the prettiest girl in the room, dumbass”

When Bakugo spoke you instantly blushed at his comment, he was never one to outright praise you with hero work, but as soon as it came to your relationship and making you happy he was always one to compliment you, even with it ended with him calling you dumbass. But at least you were his dumbass.

You had been made to choose from a couple dresses as they wanted you to look drop dead gorgeous, you chose a red one that matched Bakugo’s eyes as it hugged your body and went to the ground, it had thin straps and you couldn’t lie and say that if Bakugo saw you in this he would want to tear it right off.

You had been told someone would do your make up at the show’s base, and to Bakugo’s dismay the two of you had been separated. Being guided to the base, you sat down eagerly as you saw women and men surrounding you, they did your hair and your make up effortlessly making you look like an absolute goodness. 

They were really pulling out the stops for this one thing, it was rare for you to do talk shows as you were more into interviews that were pre recorded and edited. Live ones were more Deku’s and Bakugo’s thing though.

“You look gorgeous.” The same girl who had told you about the talk show spoke as she held the dress out.

“Thank you.” You smiled back as you put the dress on, you had worn the necklace that Katsuki had got you which had the letter K on it assuming people would think it was anybody’s name and not the man who in a couple minutes would walk out with you.

A red bracelet wrapped around your wrist as you wore a couple rings on your fingers, the promise one encasing your ring finger, it had a small gem in the middle of the gold band and you had refused to take it and your necklace off as it meant so much to you.

Before you knew it was nearly time to go and you saw as Bakugo huffed walking in with a man, Bakugo was for sure not paying attention as the red button up adorned his chest and black trousers clinged to his legs. He had left the top two buttons open, wearing similar rings to you with the black ring you had gotten him around his own ring finger. It was small and thin but inside had your name inscribed in it, he loved it and would wear it with anything, the feeling of it around your throat always sent shivers down your spine.

As soon as he noticed you standing in front of him, he was dumbfounded, he couldn’t even speak, looking at you up and down. He walked towards you putting his arms around your waist, “You’re too gorgeous to resist princess.” You blush as he turns you around so he can get a better view of you.

He loved the sight in front of him, your confident nature was brought out through the dress, everything about the way you looked defined you and it made him fall even more in love with you.

The girl from earlier had gestured for the both of you to go in, Bakugo let go of your waist, missing the touch of your hips on his ever-irritated cock. You both smiled as you saw that there was even a live audience. Bakugo walked in like he owned the place as you just kept straight not wanting to trip in the heels they had made you wear.

“Welcome both of you, come sit, sit.” She gestured as there was a long couch waiting for the two of you, Bakugo let you go first as you sat closest to the host and Bakugo sat beside you, your legs touching as his arm wrapped to the back of the couch, ever so relaxed. “So, we have Pro Heroes Dynamight and (your hero name), better known as Katsuki Bakugo and Y/n Y/L/N.”

You smiled at her as Bakugo didn’t speak or look at her, he had been dragged in this due to thinking with his downstairs brain at the heat of the moment. But seeing how happy you looked in the dress how could he ever have said no to you?

“So, first off we need to know what got you to want to become heroes.”

“Katsuki.” You mutter if he wanted to talk first, you noticed that in a lot of these live stuff he liked talking a lot, but his normal chatty nature had changed as if he was in a trace and the cause was most definitely you. “Okay well, it’s probably the most basic reason but I saw a hero save someone and I instantly fell in love with the idea of saving and helping people.”

You knew it was common for many heroes to have this sort of epiphany, you heard Bakugo speak as he sat up right, “All Might of course, from seeing him I knew I wanted to be number one hero.”

He had a calmer demeanour trying not to shout or get as pissed off as he usually did, you smiled at him as he looked down at your body again. “Do you have any advice to any kids out there who want to be heroes?”

“Work hard and even if it doesn’t work out at first you’ll still be a hero in your own way.” You smile out.

Bakugo laughs at the comment, he knew you were being nice for the show as he knew what you’d have really said, “If you suck, you suck, get strong or you’ll die.” Your eyes grow wide at his bluntness.

“Katsuki.” You scowled at him as the host and the audience laugh, you hit his chest feeling his hard muscles underneath.

“It’s the truth Y/n, you started to sugar-coat stuff.” He raises an eyebrow as he leans back again.

The host continues to ask questions as you answer enticingly as Bakugo makes remarks that lift the comfort of the room, you had finally becoming comfortable, the host asking about UA. “So, we heard that you two went to UA together, were you two friends, did you get along?”

Bakugo was the first one to speak, you two had been dating since UA and had kept it a secret from everyone except for Class 1A, as soon as the dorm system had been implemented it made it a lot easier to be around each other and one by one the class found out. Even with continuing dating after graduating they all knew you had remained strong together and it was a surprise nobody had found out on the amount of dates you two went on.

“Yeah we were friends I guess; we were in the same class and spent time with the class together.” He smiled as he thought of the days were you’d both sneak into each other’s rooms to be able to cuddle at night. His taller frame always encasing you in love. “She was a pain back then though.”

You glare at the boy before you interrupt up him, “me a pain, I distinctly remember you pissing off everybody.”

You laughed as he glared back at you, “seems like you two really are the best friends everybody talks about.” You nodded as to try and not blow your secret relationship. “Now for the finally question of the night, where do both of you see each other in five years?”

You had never been asked something like this, you were only in your early twenties and five years is a substantial difference now then it was in your teens. Where would you be? Would you and Bakugo remain strong with you still be partners would Bakugo be the number one hero. You carefully thought trying to get a satisfactory answer out.

Well you had clearly been thinking because Bakugo blurted out the words nobody had expected, “probably married to this dumbass.”

Your head shot as he had his arm around the couch still, his legs spread as if he was waiting for you to sit on his lap. “K…Katsuki.” Realisation hit him as it made his mouth went dry.

The host looked before the two of you noticing, how Bakugo’s arm moved to behind your back, your legs touching, the K necklace around your neck and the look of love that surrounded the two of you.

“You two are dating?” She asks.

He gives a look to you as you nod at the idiot, “Yeah since our UA days, isn’t that right princess, you were always obsessed with me.” The nickname rolling off his tongue as your face flushed a bright pink.

“Katsuki you liar.” You mutter, the mic still picking up on it as you could hear it play on the speakers.

“That is adorable, you two are such a cute couple.” The host coos as you smile at her.

“Yeah we might be cute but dating his is like dating a kid.” You laugh as you were trying to get back at Bakugo for embarrassing you.

“I expect it would be” The host smiles as the audience still hadn’t said anything only watching at you two. She wrapped the show up as you could almost hear your phone go off in the other room.

The host said goodbye to you both as the audience watched intensively as they walked out, “you and your big mouth.” You mutter to Bakugo as he grabs your hand walking you to the side.

“But now we can go on dates anytime we want now, idiot.” He laughs.

You shrug as he still held your hand, not bothering to change he grabs your bag and clothes as he takes his own, passing you your phone as he remained holding hands with you. “Twitter has gone mad.”

“Yeah cause two sex god’s have been dating and they never knew.” He smirks as you push into his side.

“Mr and Mrs Bakugo, there’s a car waiting outside for you.” You almost choke on the name as you look at one of the producers.

“It’s Miss Y/L/N.” You spoke softly but she hadn’t heard as Bakugo grinned at the thought.

“Come on Mrs Bakugo, our cars waiting.” You wanted to rip his throat out, as you both walked outside.

Fans around the both of you as Bakugo put an arm tightly around you, he didn’t want this to happen, but he basked in all the attention. “You’re enjoying this too much.”

He grins looking down at you as he goes to you ear, “It’s because tomorrow you won’t be doing any walking at all.”

Your face reddens at what he said, the sex addicted Bakugo was too comfortable and having said that in front of fan only made your face blush even more. He opened the door for you as you got in, he followed as he sat right beside you, the driver taking you to your apartment.

“We could always have some fun here.” You watching his hands move across your thigh, slowly getting higher and higher at every touch.

“You’re such a perv Bakugo.” You hissed slapping his hand, his quirk created little sparkles as he lifted your dress up, putting his hand inside as he grabbed your thigh. The hotness making your legs shuffle at the closeness it had to your pussy.

“Your perv though princess.” His antics continued and before you knew it you were inside the elevator to your apartment, his hands around your waist as his chin rested on top of your head. “I love you.”

He spoke calmly for once without any snideness or ulterior motive. “I love you too.” You reply back as you turned to face him, your hands wrapping around his neck as you leant in and kissed him, his arms wrapping around your waist, the kiss deepening as he pulled you closer towards his body, he groped at your hips as he moves to your ass, squeezing it through the thin material. The elevator opened up as his teeth bit into your bottom lip as you retracted, the feeling of him remaining on you.

You knew what was going to occur for the next day and you knew you certainly weren’t prepared for losing the ability to walk for the next week. But as he watched you look gorgeous in the dress you watched over him with the same love and lust. You were perfect for each other and nothing would ever change that.

If you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and I’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alaina-rose13

[twst-campos13]

ah hello!! i'm literally so excited to see a blog for enby and male readers sodjfoijf,,could i maybe request a scenario where male reader is a staff member (idk?? like a librarian?? a nurse??? do they need nurses over there???) and is crushing on crewel but is too scared to confess because he's both Too Dense to pick up any signs of potential reciprocation and also just isn't sure if crewel likes men??? maybe. maybe with a happy ending though because i am a fool,, thank you very much!!

One hopelessly cheesy scenario coming up!! Thank you for requesting! I hope you don’t mind I made reader a librarian who may or may not be a bit of a romantic because i listened to a particular playlist while writing this- (commentary in notes!)

Warnings: none! Tags: male!reader, fluff!

A simple man such as you live a simple life. As simple as life can be in Night Raven College, that is. A prestigious school that holds a student body that can barely tolerate each other. It would be typical for a librarian to be the observer than the observed, but hey, if it means getting out of trivial matters of the school and enjoying the show in your personal bubble, then you have no complaints.

This attitude of yours did come to have its own consequences. You were seen as timid by most students as you were quite closed-off, taking it as a reason to poke fun at you sometimes. You proved them wrong when they step out of line with their fun. Most of the time you choose to ignore them. However, you lived up to your introverted nature, especially when it comes to him.

Tall, dark, and handsome. Approachable but also not at the same time. Sharply dressed and sharp attitude. This man that visits the library ever so often had become your daily motivation to keep on working at this school despite the wage that Crowley gives you.

Divus Crewel, feared and admired by staff and students—also known as the man who stole your heart.

You feel so small compared to him. That would not be so farfetched. He is a remarkable man, and what about you? You are just a librarian at this school. You are like mere dust to him.

Yet, despite this, you continued yearning for him no matter how ridiculous it seems. Perhaps you have fallen too deep in romantic fiction that you make hopeless wishes. You are known to be excellent in reading people but for some reason, you find it hard to read Divus. His perfect posture whenever he would scan the Applied Sciences aisle showed that he is focused on his reading. However, it is his expression you find hard to decipher. He looks dashing as ever, of course, but his thin lips and neutral gaze makes it hard for you to know what he is thinking.

If your life is a novel it would be so easy to know what runs in his mind. What he feels for you. Maybe he could even know what you feel for him. In a story, what makes characters likable is knowing what their emotions, their feelings, their ambitions, and their dreams are, for they are already laid out in ink on pages. Implicit or explicit information, simple or complex structure of personality, it does not matter. You would easily know about them for they are just sentences away from understanding.

And in romance novels…oh, how dreamy they are. How easy they make it seem to fall in love, to confess, and to achieve a happy ending. However, as a librarian, you know the reality of your situation. Your relationship with Crewel is a professional. Strictly, if you were to add an adjective. Is it really strictly professional? Your right brain points out the moments in your life where you interacted with him. At faculty meetings, reunions, at the library…moments like those just feel surreal you almost believed that you made those up on your own. Probably because you initiated each of those interactions yourself.

The only time, where Crewel would come to you himself, are rare. One time he came to the library and checked out a book to read in his spare time. His voice distracted you. It was like cherry wine. Sweet, smooth, enough to make your throat dry and your cheeks flushed. Oh, you could listen to him talk for hours in that tone of his, and he could even make you do anything he pleases.

You greet each other good morning or good afternoon when you pass by each other, and he would smile a teasing one at you as if you two shared a secret with each other. Well, technically you did, for one time you bought him coffee under the pouring rain, and he repaid you for your kindness. Soon enough your coffee exchange became a routine for both of you. It was sweeter than the cream in his coffee. It was more refreshing than the rainy day you shared with each other.

His gaze. His posture. His voice. His smile. Despite those small interactions with each other you are still troubled by what he thinks of you. A friend? A colleague? A special someone? Why is this so hard? Why was it so easy to fall in love? And when things could not get worse for you, your left brain argued that he might not be interested to mingle with a man.

Well, you could find out for yourself, but that would be creepy. Your workspace is in the library! You could not just leave when you please just so you can observe him. You could not use the staff files to your advantage—that is being a borderline stalker. Whatever Crewel’s orientation is, is his to keep and his to disclose to you. Oh, but still. If this were a novel, you could easily analyze the situations that give off evidence of him liking men. Or liking someone like you.

If that were the case you would not have a hard time trying to decipher his words, his gaze, his tone, and his actions towards you. If that were the case…if that were the case…then…well, there’s no then. Divus Crewel is not a fictional character to analyze. He is your coworker, your colleague.

It is hard to know what he thinks of you, at all. You really wished that you could…but the thought of knowing what he thinks to scare you, as well.

Rejection is not that far from reality. Who are you compared to him again? A nobody. A simple, ‘timid’, librarian that enjoys reading romantic and fiction novels and inserts himself in scenarios he makes up for himself just so he can…find the happiness he wishes to have.

But Divus is your happiness. Became your source of happiness. Ironic how he colors the muted floor of the library with his monochromatic appearance. Maybe it is better that you keep your feelings to yourself. You avoid the risk of rejection and humiliation as well as ruining whatever it is your current relationship with Crewel is.

You barely registered the visitor in front of your desk until a familiar red leathery gloved hand rested atop of yours. The contact of the leather sent a spark of electricity through you that you snapped your head up to meet alluring silvery blue eyes. There is only one person in this college that owns those distinct, beautiful, silvery blue eyes.

Divus.

“Have I interrupted your moment of peace, sir?” He asked in that cherry wine voice of his. It made your throat dry up and your face warm. “N-No—no!” You squeaked, shaking your head to brush off the embarrassment. Quickly, you fixed your composure and appeared presentable. As presentable as you could be under his stare that is. You just hope that he found some amusement in your haste. “D-Div—Mr. Crewel, what can I do for you?” You smiled as you speak in a professional tone. The edge of his lips curled into a familiar smirk and still you could not determine what was running through his mind at the moment.  

“I came to return the book I borrowed last week,” he said, placing down the novel on your desk. Sense and Sensibility. Jane Austen. Right, he borrowed that last week. It is not your place to judge whatever it is he desires to read. “Of course,” you nodded, “did you enjoy reading it?” You started on a small talk as you take out your logbook for the check-ins and outs of books. “Somewhat,” Crewel shrugged, “I had my eyes set on another book I would like to borrow.”

“Oh? What is it? I’ll go get it for you.” You stood up after sliding the logbook back to its drawer. Crewel did not leave from where he was standing. His eyes were simply on you. You had to hide your nervousness under his gaze. “I had my eyes on it ever since that rainy day, when you offered me shelter in the library until the rain passes,” he mused. “General fiction, I believe, was the genre.”

“If that’s the case then you better tell me the title,” you joked, taking a stool to the genre’s aisle. “Are you certain you can find it?” Crewel coolly challenged. You almost laughed but did not fight the smile on your lips. “Mr. Crewel, I spend most of my time in this library. I know every book and I still have the Dewey Decimal system memorized…” You kept your eyes distracted by scanning the spines of the books on the shelves. You are aware that he is still looking at you that is why you refused to look back at him. You are not sure what will happen if you look back at him while conversing.  

“If that is the case—” why does he suddenly sound a bit close? “—may you find ‘How to Ask your Dense Colleague Out to Dinner?’”

What a lengthy title. It sounds very basic and almost like a rule book than a novel. Well, that is General Fiction for you. Though you are quite unsure if such a book exists in the library. “Hm…” you hummed, a finger on your chin, as your eyes scanned the shelves. “I don’t think I have that here…Crowley pays me enough to support my rent and meals, but not enough to buy new books. Plus, the students…”

You heard him chuckle beside you and fought the urge to turn to him. “I believe I was not frank enough. Ah, well, I will put all subtleties aside, then…”

His warm breath tickling your skin was what made you finally turn to him. The proximity of your noses startled you that you nearly stumbled out of your stool if it were not for Divus’ hand grabbing yours to pull you to him. You gasped, shocked, as you landed close to his chest. His other hand supported your waist, and your eyes widened his silvery blues. You can feel your heart hammering against his. Your legs feel like putty when he gave you that teasing smirk. Your name—your first name—sounds surreal from his lips. Your entire world was a confusing mix of vertigo and bright lights.

“Will you go to dinner with me?”

You stared. You stammered. You are flabbergasted and flustered. You were unsure how to react to such a forward question that your brain completely shut down. But you cannot embarrass yourself—you must not. Not when…not when…not when…!

Oh, he will he stop saying your name with such sentiment?

“Is your silence a rejection or a consideration?” He rose a brow and your face flushed even more. “No! I mean yes—I mean—no, it isn’t a rejection—”

“Then you have been anticipating this?”

“Divus!”

He laughed. He laughed at your state. He laughed at your awkwardness. But most importantly his laugh sounds so pleasant. Like he was teasing you and you liked him teasing. You grew shy, averting your gaze from his and fidgeting with your fingers. “I mean…I mean…why?”

Crewel stopped laughing and looked at you. “Why what?”

“Why…me? Out of all people?” You asked as fear and denial keep you from grasping the fact that this is all real and not another scenario you made up during rainy days. Crewel’s face remained passive. Neutral. It was eating at your heart and you just wish what is going through his mind.

“Is it not obvious, puppy?” He raised a brow at you. The hand holding your wrist now tilted your chin in his direction. “It is not by fate or destiny, but a mere law that dictates the gravitational pull of similar atoms that is programmed by the need to chemically bind together.”

You suddenly felt stumped. “W—What?”

“I like you, puppy,” Crewel clarified, adoring the way your confusion turned to pure surprise, “and I would like to have dinner with you. Perhaps another, if the first went well.”

You need some time to process this. Your head felt so light you might pass out in his arms. Actually, you would not mind that in the slightest. His coat is just so soft it feels like heaven. A proper response of agreement failed to come to your mind so instead, you asked him again, “And what if the first does not end well?”

Crewel smiled at you. “Then we shall try again with the next dinner. Mind you, puppy, as a man of science, I am not afraid of failure if trying means more chances of perfecting my goal.”

“And what’s that goal?” You asked and physically stopped yourself from combusting when he leaned closer to you that your noses touch and you smell his cologne, and his bold scent.

“The goal to become yours.”

[neonacity]

Chapter 10: Clytemnestra

Summary:

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”

An NCT mafia AU with OT23. Summary: Working for the mafia comes with many layers. There’s excitement, violence, loss, and betrayals. Yet there’s also friendship, family, loyalty, and code. The last thing it needs? Love and all the complexities it brings.

TW: violence, death, mentions of sex, drugs, and other illegal activities. If you’re uncomfortable with any of these, feel free to skip. Author’s note: This is purely a work of fiction. In no way am I supporting all the illegal activities and behaviors that might be mentioned in the story nor am I implying that any member of NCT acts whichever way I may write them here.

Chapter 9: In Memoriam

MASTERLIST

Fic Trailer

Chapter Music: I See Red by Everybody Loves an Outlaw

----

"What did he say?"

My eyes scanned over the words written over the piece of paper for the last time. There isn't much there, but I feel like there's something crucial I was missing. I looked up at Taeyong and shook my head. 

"Nothing much. But he wanted me to meet up with him."

"Did he give you an address?"

"No. Which makes it all the more strange. Unless he is planning to send another letter?" I handed him the piece of paper which he quickly unfolded to read. A slight frown settled between his brows as he went over it. 

There were only two lines there, none of which really makes sense. 

I will be waiting. 

22:00. Black Daisies. 

"Do you have any idea what Black Daisies mean?" 

I shook my head, mirroring the same look of confusion on his face. I've been racking my brains about it for the past few minutes but couldn't think of anything that might be related to it. 

"I honestly have no idea. He wrote a time beside it… so I am assuming whatever Black Daisies is, it's a code for a place? I don't have any idea which location he is referring to though." 

Taeyong simply looked at me silently before finally folding the paper away. We were back in my room after he temporarily managed to save me from the barrage of questions I was sure the others wanted to ask when they found out the letter was addressed for me. 

Every day I feel like the line I'm toeing gets more and more dangerous. Like a high strung tight rope that's ready to give up under my footing.

"You're not going to him." 

I looked up to meet his eyes. 

"I wasn't planning to..." 

Taeyong's gaze didn't waver.

"Promise me."

"Why?"

"Because I know you'll change your mind in a heartbeat once he involves anyone you care about. So I need you to promise, even if he uses me or any of our friends."

My lips pursed and I evaded his gaze. I heard a soft shuffling of feet and felt my mattress dip as he sat beside me. Taeyong didn't need to touch me to affect me with his presence. After that brief moment of vulnerability that we shared earlier, something has shifted. I thought I will be able to put my walls up again just as easily as I took them down, but it seems like I was wrong. 

When he spoke again, his voice was lower. Softer. 

"Promise me." 

"Is that an order from my leader?"

"No, it is a request from a friend." 

I turned to look at him and cocked my brow to diffuse the tension in the air. 

"You're ordering your noona around?" 

His lips quirked ever so slightly into a smile. 

"You're only one year older…"

"Hey. Emergency meeting."

"And seven months. One year and seven months. Don't forget that," I said, looking away.

A sharp knock on my door got our attention at that moment and we both looked up to see Doyoung standing on the threshold. He looked grim as he moved his gaze from Taeyong to me. 

-----

Jaehyun sat at the very back of the room that had filled up with all the members after Doyoung sent his urgent message. Everyone was scattered in the expansive space which seemed a little bit smaller now that WayV has joined, some sitting on the leather stools while others made do with the floor. Jungwoo and Taeil were deep in conversation beside him while Johnny and Yuta stood next to the door, flanking the entrance with their overwhelming presence. Being the main fighters of 127, it comes natural for the pair to be on the watch regardless if it's just an internal family meeting that's happening.

...Except this is not just an ordinary meeting. Jaehyun hasn't heard the full story from Doyoung yet after he came back from his business, but he has a pretty good idea of what the issue might be. Despite being just one of the crime families under the current Don's network, NCT does follow the traditional mafia ranking within its system. Doyoung works as the Consigliere to Taeyong's Capocrimine, taking over the responsibility of being the advisor and overall gatekeeper of NCT to the outside world. His connections give him access to normal society, which means if he calls for a meeting, it is probably an issue involving the "above ground." 

Taeyong walked in with an unreadable expression that made everyone fall silent in a heartbeat. He joined Doyoung in front of the room and looked over the crowd before finally speaking. 

"Has anyone here given any orders to their crew about stepping up any of our activities?"

The members exchanged confused looks between each other. Mark answered in lieu of Dream, Jeno looking just as confused beside him. 

"Not us. Why? What's up?"

Taeyong looked at Doyoung who grimly picked a folder on the table. The latter started reading the contents of it out loud into the room. 

"Heist in Dongjak district. The biggest bank there was ransacked last week. Cops also busted an illegal racing event last night. The other day, there was an ambush on one of the strip clubs at Guro. News came around that a new drug was being sold there after a rise of reported overdose deaths from it three days ago. Businesses that should be under our protection in Seocho are being ransacked despite them settling their tariff fees with us," Doyoung looked up from the paper he was reading and swept his gaze over the room. 

"That's just four of the 18 other cases that I got for the last week."

Everyone exchanged shocked looks with each other. Jeno decided to speak up, the expression on his eyes intense. 

"Hyung, it's not us. We haven't done any heists since you came back from Tokyo."

Doyoung gave a tight nod and looked over to Johnny and Yuta.

"The drugs in Guro?" 

"Not from us. The last ones we distributed are those we got from Japan and they're just psychedelic shots. They're clean." 

"WayV…?"

"We didn't bring any with us when we landed. Our jet can only fit the crates of armory we had to transport for you guys," Kun said with a frown. 

Taeyong ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath. 

"Taeyong, what's happening?"

It was Doyoung who answered for him. 

"There was a rise of undocumented cases that were being fed to the cops in the past weeks. According to the reports, they were done by us." 

"What? That doesn't make any sense," Yuta said from his position by the door.

"It does make a lot of sense, actually. Obviously, we're hands off from all of these so they can only be done by the smaller gangs that we don't manage. And it all started after that announcement was made."

"But those rats wouldn't have any confidence to go against us. They're too small and disorganized to do this. And to even claim that they're NCT? That's just impossible."

"It is possible, if there is someone bigger asking them to act up," Taeyong answered grimly. Jaehyun watched as the man's gaze quickly flickered over to the pale female face sitting on the couch between Chenle and Renjun. That's when it clicked. 

Of course, Jihoon wouldn't be too lax to actually lie low after the bombing of Anarchy. That was just the start.

"Are you sure this isn't Wonho's doing?" Ten asked with concern. "We just got word from our network in Beijing that he was peddling women from kidnappings."

Jaehyun's attention snapped to the boy then at Doyoung and Taeyong at the mention of the name. A heavy feeling quickly started to gather on the pit of his stomach as he waited for their answer.

"That's an entirely different case altogether. But you’re right. The feds caught wind that he was trafficking kidnapped tourists and now they're after his ass." 

"Did he claim his case to be connected to us, too?"

"No. But because of all these other things happening, the police are definitely pinning everything on us."

"Shit," Lucas whispered loud enough for the good half of the room to hear. Jaehyun mirrored the same internally, his hands clasped together tightly in front of him. 

Shit indeed. 

This was all supposed to be a no brainer. He only needed to help the asshole get out of the country and then he can brush him off like dirt from his hands after. Why didn't he do it before things hit the fan? Now everything has become so much more complicated.

"How bad is it?" Taeil asked from Jaehyun's left. 

"Bad enough for us to be in the 8pm news. According to our moles, the Chief of Police is going to announce the manhunt for us tonight."

The room has gone so silent and still that the air felt suffocating. If there is one thing NCT is known for in the underworld, it is the group's efficiency and cleanliness when it comes to its operations. Every job done is spotless, every loophole covered. Until now. 

"Can't we pay off—" 

"We can't. We already tried reaching out to all our associates within the force but they can't do anything about it," Taeyong answered before Taeil could even finish the question. "The cases have reached the public and now there's an outcry from the community. Even the police are pressured to do something."

A round of murmurs swept over the room. Finally, one female voice broke through it to ask the question nobody wanted to say out loud. 

"What are we going to do?"

Taeyong's jaw tightened and he unclasped his arms crossed over his chest. 

"We need to track all those gangs doing these activities and put them in their place. It's going to be difficult to hunt each of them down with their size so we will need to use most of our resources here. Reach out to all the connections you could think of. We don't need more crimes being blamed on us."

Everyone's eyes were on Taeyong as the group waited for what he's going to say next. He stopped for a bit before finally speaking again. 

"And we kill Jihoon. This isn't going to stop until he's gone." 

Glances were exchanged within the room as his words sank in. Jaehyun didn't want to break the silence but he knew that he didn't have any other choice but to ask the next question. 

"And Wonho? What are we going to do with him?"

It was Doyoung who answered this time. 

"We'll kill him, too. We've given him way too many chances already. Once we get rid of him, we take the credit and let the cops know about it. Take them off our backs for a bit. We'll take care of him this week." 

It was fortunate that Jaehyun has mastered the art of keeping an unreadable facade. In his head, the words of the woman he loves echoed once again as the consequences of the situation mocked him. 

"No betrayal… or death of a brother shall be held against any of you." 

-----

Johnny threw his half finished cigarette on the gravelled road with a quick flick of his wrist. He scanned the length of the building from across the wall he is leaning on, gaze shadowed by the cap pulled low against his face. Of course, Jihoon would have the audacity and gall to choose a luxury apartment unit as his mistress' "hiding place" in Seoul. The motherfucker is one proud asshole, acting as if he owns any territory he steps on like the crazy psycho he is. 

He's not here for him though, no. Johnny isn't the type to act out on his own, but things are slowly starting to get messy within the family. People may always credit Taeyong for being the first one to step in the line of fire when it comes to protecting the group, but Johnny is a close second when it comes to his sense of loyalty. Ever since that day he was picked up and saved from that hell of underground brawls at 17 by Taeyong himself, he made it his personal promise to do anything to protect his home. 

That's exactly what he is doing now as he buried his hands in the pockets of his jeans, waiting for his prey. If his informant was correct, she should go out of the building doors any minute now. 

30 seconds. 40. 56. 

His eyes caught a familiar form slipping out of the main entrance of the complex. The woman was wearing more casual clothes now than when they last met at Anarchy, but Johnny knew it was her despite her hoodie shielding the good half of her face. His sharp eyes followed her, allowing her to put some distance between them before he finally pushed himself from the wall to trace her steps.

She had crossed three streets when he really started catching up with her. He waited until the traffic light turned red on the street she was about to cross before slinging his arm around her casually. 

The woman stiffened instantly in his arms and looked up at him in shock. Johnny smiled casually down at her and pressed the cold nose of the gun hidden under his jacket closer to her ribcage.

"If you don't make a racket, there won't be a need for a murder scene by this road."

She pursed her lips as anger flashed in her eyes. She gave a tight nod before directing her gaze back into the street ahead.

"Good girl. Go straight then turn left. There's an abandoned building on the third alley." 

The two of them immediately started walking, sides pressed closely together. She didn't speak, but Johnny could feel her anger just bubbling underneath.

He unceremoniously pushed her inside the abandoned shop when they finally reached it. She turned to him with a glare and he didn't hesitate to raise his gun to her face, cocking it slowly. 

The move made her brows raise. Instead of looking threatened, she crossed her arms over her chest. 

"What do you want?"

"Your boyfriend's head on a stick. When are you two going to leave us alone? Your lot is causing a lot of trouble for us already."

"Are you here to kill me then?" 

"Oh no. You're here as payment. It'll be interesting to see how he reacts after we mess up one of his own." 

The woman stared at him for a long moment. Johnny’s gun didn’t waiver during the stare down, his hand steady as their gazes clashed. Then, all of a sudden, she did something he wasn’t expecting at all. 

She laughed.

She laughed so hard her voice rang and bounced on the dusty corners of the room. Johnny reigned in the confusion that overtook him with a frown. Is she acting to throw him off track?

The girl straightened up and looked at him with pure amusement in her eyes. The smirk playing on her lips told him that there is more to this act than what he is seeing. 

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry. You stalked me thinking you’ll budge Jihoon by threatening me? That’s so, so, so amusing.” 

Johnny tightened his jaw but didn’t say a word. He watched as she started moving towards where he is standing, her eyes never leaving his. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as she stalked him, and for the first time, he actually took a good long look at her eyes. What Johnny saw there hit him like a firetruck. 

Jihoon’s madness, exactly reflected in her own gaze.

She stopped an inch away from his gun. If she moved a little, the cold metal of it would have kissed her forehead. 

“You could kill me now or torture me to death and my brother wouldn’t bat an eye… In fact, he might even thank you,” she whispered softly, almost fondly. Johnny felt the hair at the back of his neck rise. His emotions must have briefly flashed on his face because her smile widened in amusement. 

“Here’s one thing you don’t understand about Jihoon. He absolutely doesn’t care about anyone else other than himself. All these things he is doing? They are all for his sick fun. He is mad. Inhuman. If you want to have any chance of winning this, you have no other choice but to play the game with him.” 

“You’re his sister.”

“Half sister. That doesn’t change anything. I’m just a piece on his chessboard. I would honestly let you kill me now if you want to, but I can’t. Not until I finish what I have to do.”

Johnny didn’t know what got to him but he found himself slowly lowering his gun. The two of them stared at each other, silent, for what felt like forever. Finally, she moved to walk past him. 

“If that’s all, then I’ll go ahead. I suggest you find a better informant next time. Jihoon doesn’t stay in my building at all. Even I don’t know where he is,” she said casually as she moved towards the door. 

“I have no other choice. But believe me when I say that I want him dead just as much as you do.” 

“If he doesn’t care about you, why are you sticking with him?” he asked just as she wrapped her hand on the door handle. She stilled, her shoulders stiff. Johnny is not an ace when it comes to psychological games but when she turned to look at him again, he knew for sure that her eyes were honest despite being devoid of emotions. 

That made him stop. Before he knew it, he was speaking again to ask the one question that he’s been trying to answer ever since they met at Anarchy.

“Why did you save me? Back in the club. I was standing directly above your bomb.” 

For a while, she didn’t answer. Johnny thought he saw a flicker of emotion pass through her eyes, but it was gone before he could process it. 

“I wonder why too.”

The door closed behind her, leaving him alone in the shadowed room. 

----

Chapter 11

Tag list: @hen-marks99, @negincho, @nctisthecity

[sfb123]

Sapere Aude - Part 11

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: PG-13 Adult language, discussions of death, conspiracy, blackmail, and other adult themes.

Warning: The Royal Heir Book 3 Spoilers all over the place.

Disclaimer: I have no current affiliation with any other Via Imperii themed stories. Any claims that I have pre-read anything are false.

Word Count: 2,909

A/N: First of all, I have a couple of new readers (hi, thank you, I love you) if this is your first Sapere Aude, stop here, go back, and start from the beginning. This series has a lot of bombs and surprises, so none of this is going to make sense, and it’s going to make it less exciting if you aren’t reading from the beginning. 

Sorry, another long wait for a chapter. I got stuck, and distracted, and like a million other things. The Choices Insider email last week kind of lit a fire under me. When I started writing this (in December) the plan was to have it finished before the last book came out, so I have like a month to get through this. I’m going full out on getting this completed now, I will be working on nothing but this until it is done, and am hoping to finish it in time for the next book to come out so that PB has plenty of time to steal my ideas. 

This chapter took a while for me to work through, but @jessiembruno was amazing and helped me every step of the way, and got like a million rambling text messages from me once the idea dam finally broke. And then pre-reading and leaving me some amazing love notes, and super helpful suggestions. She also kept encouraging me, and pushing me to work on it when my mind would wander into new ideas, or thoughts on some other random WIP that I started throwing together. I love you, and I am so grateful for this friendship that goes way beyond any of this. By the way, you are an AMAZING writer, and I will continue to shout it from the mountain tops as long as I live. 

As always with this series, I need to thank @txemrn for pre-reading. I was having SUCH a miserable day and feeling so shitty about myself (for non-fandom reasons), and your reactions to this chapter made me laugh out loud for the first time in what felt like forever. I appreciate you so much my dear friend. 

And of course, thank you @twinkleallnight for my beautiful series moodboard. 

Tags: Listed below, you know the drill. 

Liam exited the bedroom and walked toward the sitting area. He paused at the end of the hallway to observe his wife and his daughter sitting on the couch. Riley had her blouse in hand, sewing on the button Olivia sent her for her undercover mission. She was showing Eleanor how to sew, talking her through every stitch. The princess was watching and listening intently, taking in every word her mother said. 

He leaned his right shoulder against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest as he admired his family. He didn’t understand how it was possible to fall even more in love every time he looked at them. All he wanted in this world was their happiness and safety, and now here he was, sending his wife straight to the enemy. 

“Hi Daddy!” The angelic voice of his daughter pulled him from his thoughts. 

“Hi Princess. Are you being a good helper for mommy?” He lifted Eleanor off the couch and sat in her seat, placing her on his lap. 

“Best helper a girl could ask for.” Riley held her hand out, palm up, and Eleanor gave her a high five. 

Liam enjoyed the company of his family for a few more moments, before placing a kiss on his daughter’s cheek. “Alright Eleanor, why don’t you go play in your room for a little while? Mommy and daddy have to talk about grown up things.”

“Yes, daddy. Will you come play after?” 

“Of course, I believe I am owed a tea party.” He gave her a hug before setting her down and watching her run to her room. When she was gone, he turned his attention back to Riley. “How are you feeling, love?”

Riley cut the lingering thread from the button and placed her blouse on the table in front of them before responding. “I mean, obviously I’m nervous, but I’m optimistic that I’ll come back with something we can use. How are you feeling?”

He sighed and pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her head as it landed on his chest. “Riley, I love how much you worry about me, but let me worry about you right now. Let me be your support system. Tell me truly, how are you feeling?”

“I’m...I’m terrified.” She pulled back and looked him in the eyes, tears beginning to pool in her own. “I’m trying so hard to be strong, to put on a brave face, but this is fucking terrifying. We don’t know how deep it goes, we know some of the people that are involved, but how do we know that that’s everyone?”

“You’re right, there are a lot of unknowns, and that’s scary.” He cupped her face in his hands, wiping a falling tear with his thumb. “But I truly believe that we are going to end this. That you are going to end this. Don’t forget, you are the Champion of The Realm.”

“Yeah, but I’m sleeping with the guy who makes those decisions, he may have been a little biased.” She shrugged, half joking. 

Liam removed his hands, his expression becoming more serious. “Riley, that’s not funny. You have earned every single thing you have received since you arrived in this country, our country. I don’t ever want you to believe that my feelings for you overrule my judgement when it comes to your abilities. You are the strongest person I have ever met. If anyone can do this, it’s you.”

“IF anyone can do this. What if nobody can?”

“Then we will face the fallout together. Like we always do, like we always will. We are the King and Queen of Cordonia, Liam and Riley Rys. We are a force to be reckoned with.” He raised an eyebrow as he parroted back her reassuring words from a few nights before. 

She smirked at him. “Hey, no fair, you can’t use my own words to prove your point like that.” 

“Yes I can, old negotiation tactic.” He winked at her and stood from the couch reaching for her hand. “Come on, we still have the whole day ahead of us. Let’s go have a tea party with our daughter, then I’m taking my girls out for dinner.”

****

Two days later, Riley was sitting in the back of an SUV heading toward the Fierro Estate. She was doing her best to quell her nerves, but she couldn’t help her hands from fidgeting in her lap. 

“You seem on edge, ma’am. Is everything ok?” The sound of Mara’s voice cut through the silence, startling Riley. 

“Oh...yeah, I’m fine Mara. I’m just not really sure what to expect from this meeting. Last time I went to one of these events, I found out my mother in law wasn’t actually dead. I don’t know if I could handle another surprise like that.”

Mara chuckled at her concern. “Don’t worry your majesty, this is a simple strategy meeting followed by a dinner. You have met all of the members, so there will be no surprise guests this time around.”

Riley nodded and turned her head, watching the scenery pass by as they continued to their destination. Her mind was racing thinking about what this meeting would have in store. She practiced taking pictures with the pen, and activating the recorder she had sewn into her shirt. As they got closer to the estate, she felt her heart rate speed up, and the knot in her stomach tighten.

When they arrived, Riley was ushered into the grand room, which had been set up with a large table. The other members were standing around in small groups chatting until it was time for the meeting to begin. Riley fidgeted with the pen, twirling it in her fingers before lifting it to her face and tapping it against her chin and clicking it several times. She hoped it came off as a nervous habit, providing cover for the fact that she was actually taking pictures around the room. 

She gasped and nearly jumped out of her skin at the feeling of a hand gently being placed on her shoulder. She whipped around to see Eleanor smiling softly at her. “Riley dear, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Oh, Eleanor. Hello.” Riley held her hand to her chest, trying to get her heart rate back to normal. “It’s ok, I’m just a little nervous. Not really sure what to expect from this meeting.”

“Don’t worry, I promise it’s just regular business, nothing earth shattering. Come on, it’s time to get this started, and you’re sitting next to me.” Eleanor wrapped her arm around Riley and led her to the table. The other guests took this as their cue to follow, as the meeting was about to get underway. As Riley sat, she adjusted her skirt and blouse, using the opportunity to activate the microphone embedded in her button. 

As the chapter president, Eleanor kicked off the meeting by greeting their newest member, Queen Riley, and explaining that she was there to help push their initiatives though with the King. Riley clenched her fist ever so slightly, a trick she used when she was trying to keep her expression neutral. They continued on, reviewing the minutes of the last meeting, it all seemed to be pretty mundane, things that wouldn't even necessarily cross hers or Liam’s desk. 

Then they opened up the floor to new business, and Neville stood to address the room. “I would like to revisit the Auvernal alliance.”

Riley was able to maintain her stoic expression, but her body tensed at the mention of Auvernal. She and Liam had made it perfectly clear that there would be no alliance. “I don’t believe there is anything to revisit there.” She chimed in. “King Liam and I determined that the alliance would not be beneficial for Cordonia.”

“Actually, I believe you determined the alliance would not be beneficial to you and your husband.” Neville rebutted, crossing his arms over his chest. “You didn’t want to marry off your daughter, you didn’t bother thinking of what the alliance could bring to our country.”

“Are you questioning the decisions of your monarchs? I urge you to remember your station, Lord Neville.” Riley raised an eyebrow and stood a bit taller. 

Neville scoffed at her threat. “And I urge you to remember that you may have slept your way to the top in Cordonia, but the Via Imperii is bigger than the monarchy, and in this society, I outrank you.”

“Well, if being the Queen doesn’t matter in this room, then there is nothing stopping me from coming over there and beating your a...”

“Ok ok ok, let’s all calm down here.” Eleanor grabbed Riley’s arm, stopping her from charging at Neville. “Let’s all sit down and have a rational conversation, weighing out the pros and cons of an alliance.” Riley and Neville both sat down and exchanged narrow glances. “Now Neville, since you have brought this proposal to the group, you will go first. Please explain to us your thought process on revisiting the alliance.”

Neville nodded and smirked at Riley. “It is clear that combining the financial security of Cordonia with the military strength of Auvernal would make us an unstoppable force. Besides, we need the extra protection given our country’s recent history.” He glared at Riley once again.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Riley huffed. 

“Look at the instability we have faced in recent years. Our crown prince abdicated, his successor, our current king, broke off a perfectly suitable engagement to marry a foreign commoner who was marred in scandal.”

“He released a statement that cleared that whole thing up. The scandal is irrelevant.” She could feel her cheeks heating up.

“Do you really think people stopped talking about it? You can’t really believe that it won’t be a part of your legacy as our Queen.” 

Riley slouched down in her seat. She knew she should remain composed, but bringing up the Tariq scandal hit a nerve that she didn’t know still existed. One of her biggest concerns in continuing her relationship with Liam, and accepting his proposal, was that his success as King would be overshadowed by the scandal she had faced. She had thought that after all these years, it would have been forgotten, but Neville bringing it up just brought everything back up and made her realize it would be something that was attached to her name forever. 

“Besides the personal problems our royal family has faced, there have been multiple attempts to overthrow them just within our own country. Sons of Earth, Duke Godfrey, Barthelemy Beaumont, just to name a few. Other countries are seeing this, and it won’t be long before they try to come for us as well.” Neville continued. 

“While I don’t agree with his delivery, Lord Neville does make some valid points.” Emmeline interjected, the rest of the room began murmuring in agreement. Riley couldn’t hide her shocked expression as she felt tears start to build up in her eyes. She blinked them away, she was not going to give them the satisfaction of seeing their queen cry. 

Eleanor took back control of the room before turning to Riley. “Riley, would you like to counter? You and Liam worked directly with Auvernal during the marriage alliance talks, you clearly have some insight that we may not be privy to.”

Riley took a deep breath to get her emotions under control before standing to address the room. “Aside from the fact that Bradshaw and Isabella are deplorable people with hell spawn children, the main reason that we decided an alliance was not in the best interest of Cordonia, was because it was clear that their interest was not an alliance, but a hostile takeover of our country.”

“Perhaps we would prosper under their rule. I haven’t heard of any coup attempts in Auvernal, it seems to me like they’re doing something right.” Neville spoke up. 

“So that’s it then? You all think Bradshaw and Isabella would do a better job as your king and queen, so I’m just supposed to convince Liam to relinquish the throne?” Riley threw her hands up in frustration and stepped away from the table. 

“Your majesty, we’re not making the final decision right here, right now, we just want to remain open to the idea and explore some options.” Emmeline tried to talk Riley down. “Perhaps you and King Liam could take a meeting with them, a friendly lunch maybe, just to open the lines of communication.”

“This is ridiculous. I can’t believe you all expect me to agree with this!” Riley was now pacing the room, overcome with a nervous energy.

Eleanor stood and lifted a hand to quiet the room. “Alright, that’s enough. I think we’ve gotten as far as we’re going to get with this conversation tonight. Dinner is being set out in the dining hall. I suggest we adjourn for the day. Let’s all compose ourselves and think about all sides of this conversation. We will pick up the conversation at the next meeting.”

As the members started filing out of the room, Eleanor approached Riley and gently placed her hand on her arm to keep her still. “Are you alright Riley?” 

Riley shrugged Eleanor’s hand off of her, anger clear on her face. “Of course I’m not alright. I basically just had a room full of my subjects telling me that my husband and I are doing a shitty job, and they think those monsters are better suited to look out for their best interests. Of course I’m not fucking alright!” Riley moves in closer, lowering her voice but not losing any of the anger in her tone. “I thought you were here doing this to protect Liam. Do you really think that this is protecting him? Handing his kingdom over to Auvernal?!”

“Riley, I always have Liam’s best interests at heart, I promise you that. Why don’t you head home, take a couple of days to relax and take everything in. I will set up a meeting for you and I later this week to talk about everything and work out a game plan.”

“Fine, I can’t stay here anymore anyway. And I definitely don’t have an appetite for dinner.” Riley walked out of the room, looking for Mara so that they could get back to the palace. She stepped into the dining area and saw Mara standing in the far corner talking to Neville. She clenched her jaw and took a deep breath before approaching the pair. “Mara, we will not be staying for dinner. We are returning to the palace immediately. I want to be home to put my daughter to bed.” She wasn’t going to give Neville the satisfaction of knowing she was leaving because of what he started. 

“Of course, your majesty.” Mara nodded and exited with Riley. 

The ride home was silent. In all the years that Mara had worked for Riley, she had never seen her this upset. She wasn’t entirely sure how to handle it, or what would be considered overstepping her duties, so she decided to stay quiet and let Riley speak, if she wanted to. She didn’t. 

They arrived at the palace and walked together to the royal quarters. As Riley placed her hand on the doorknob to enter, Mara cleared her throat to get her attention. “Your majesty, I know this was a difficult evening for you, but I do feel I need to remind you that discretion is key in the Via Imperii. His majesty cannot know what happened tonight. You will need to lock those feelings away for the time being.”

Riley pressed her lips into a thin line and nodded. She knew she was going to fall into Liam's arms and cry the second she saw him, and then she would tell him everything, but she couldn’t let Mara know that. “Liam and I will be staying in for the rest of the night. You are dismissed for the evening.” Riley walked into her quarters and shut the door before Mara had a chance to respond. 

As soon as she closed the door, she leaned back against it and dropped her head into her hands. Liam came walking into the room, the smile that appeared on his face when he heard the front door open quickly faded as he took in the sight of his wife sobbing at the front door. “Riley?” She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face as she tried to catch her breath. He rushed over to her and pulled her close, she buried her head in his chest as he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head trying unsuccessfully to soothe her. “Shhhh, it’s alright love, I’m right here, I’ve got you. Tell me what happened.”

Riley could barely speak, but she slowly tried to explain everything that had happened that night. Liam walked her to the couch as she spoke, she needed to sit, anything to help her relax and calm down. He stared at her in disbelief as he listened to his wife tearfully recap her evening. 

On the other side of the door, Mara pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket, selecting one of the contacts and bringing the phone to her ear. “My lord, you were right. We will need to put your plan in motion.”

Permatag:

@anjanettexcordonia @athena-penrose @bbrandy2002 @chemist-ana​ @choicesficwriterscreations​ @choiceskatie​ @cordonia-gothqueen​ @cordoniaqueensworld​ @emkay512​ @gabesmommie1130​ @gkittylove99​ @hopelessromanticmonie​ @iaminlovewithtrr​ @jessiembruno​ @kat-tia801​ @khoicesbyk​ @kingliam2019​ @lucy-268​ @marshmallowsaremyfavorite​ @mile9213​ @mom2000aggie​ @pixie88​ @queenrileyrose​ @secretaryunpaid​ @sweatyrysconnoisseur​ @tessa-liam​ @theroyalheirshadowhunter​ @twinkleallnight​ @txemrn​

Sapere Aude:

@burnsoslow @busywoman @gardeningourmet @ofpixelsandscribbles

Liam x Riley:

@jared2612

Liam:

@amandablink @yourmajesty09

[7ven-devils]

A really long overanlysis of minecraft servers.

This will be my only warning, this shit is really long.

I promised this to @ivi-prism 2 weeks ago (hi, i am Svetla) but university said no and then i feel my notes were incomplete so i have to do more research.

So let's talk about anarchism and capitalism. As a future political scientist, really bugs me how the fandom and some content creators (im looking at you techno) misinterpret both theories.

Yeah this will be a overanalysis about the political, social and economic system of two minecraft servers. Why? Cause i like analysis things like this and finally i can solved what is the system of hermitcraft and thats make me happy.

Things to consider:

First im not native english speaker and im lazy so im not often write or talk in english so my typos can make Doc really proud.

Second i don't watch Dsmp i only know things about the server by the animatics, the constant information wich pop up here on tumblr, the crossover fanfics and the tiny vods that youtube insist play when i have activate automatic reproduction.

Third i tried to simplified this much as i can because this analysis i maded talking with my friends (also political scientists) and a former professor, so it got quite technical while i was writing it.

And finally don't take this seriously, I'm not trying to insult anyone, I only started this because the hermitfandom started saying that hermitcraft was capitalist and then everyone started comparing the Dsmp with hermitcraft saying anarchism vs capitalism, that's why the dsmp entered into this analysis.

Guys, seriously chaos isn't anarchism and "sucefully economic" isn't capitalism, even paid with "money" (diamonds in this case) isnt necessary capitalism.

First, mini glossary:

I understand a server like a Society/State (country) with Mr Weber definition. In really vague words a State is anyone that has a territory and has legal control of violence (the laws, no the abuse of authority).

I understand the private property as the hermits bases and/or shops (i suppose only base in dsmp? Idk)

I understand the mass production as the farms and resources.

Capitalism is a economic, politic and social theory, wich it considers private property essential and tends to monopolize the resources 'cause this it also considered private property.

Anarchy means "without government" it has its origin in the Ancient Greece. And Anarchism theory is just a society free from any political authority, but respecting the liberties of the others.

A Failed State is which one lose control of the legal violence, and can't provide the peace, essential human rights and the basics for a normal lifestyle to its people.

I think thats all the bored shit (i hope so). Now the interesting shit.

Why hermitcraft isnt capitalist?

Short answer, their idea of private property is not the same as capitalism has.

Long answer, even if they have their own stuff, they had a really strong sense of community and dont really care if someone take things from them.

We can see this in the beginning of season when Iskall take some mini blocks from Etho and he didn't really care (yeah, iskall "paid" him, but later i will explain this) or the multiple times Grian "borrow" things from Iskall and Mumbo in season 6 or Scar in season 7, the team ZIT constantly take things from each other and i can go on and on with examples, but the point here is this couldn't happen if they had a capitalist society because this would break the "private" part of private property and mass production.

Basically their friendship made so strong their sense of community that they are basically inmune to capitalism, Uncle Marx would be proud of them (not really, but would be funny). So they are communist? Nope, communist don't believe in private property and the hermits does.

But you just said-? I said they dont has the SAME idea of private property as capitalism does. They still have their bases, farms and shops, but for them their private property isnt sacred like in a capitalism system would be.

They're respect each other things because they appreciated the effort and values the time the person puts on their buildings and not only because doesn't belongs to them (and obviously cause theyre frends, but shush, this is a overanalysis, the obvious things doesn't have place here) i mean even for the shenanigans they are really polite and try to cause the least damage possible not because is not of them but because they valued the person.

Basically the famous honor code of hermitcraft.

What about the economic system and the shopping district?

Lets talk about the elephant in the room.

If Hermitcraft isnt a capitalist system, why they have a economic system based in diamonds?

Well, despite the exchange based in money for resources or services is a principal characteristic of capitalism, it isnt exclusive of that theory.

The money is a social consensus, cause barter has becomes obsolete and gold isnt cheap or infinite to use as payment. And basically, this is why we use money on this days (if you want to know the history of money ask to your trusted historian or Wikipedia).

What does this remind us? Yep, diamonds and iou's are a consensus too. When the 1.16 came out some hermits tried to change to netherite as payment and didn't suit, so they ignored it and continued with their current payment system.

And as much as Mr Smith likes to say that this is how the free market (and his stupid invisible hand) works, capitalism needs the monopoly of resources and people who works to pay for those resources.

But in Hermitcraft nobody really controlled the resources, anyone can go and collect their materials or made a farm. They just decided don't do it and go and buy it, because they save the time to go and collect for themselves, in other words they paid for the time.

Various hermits say they saved so much time go and buy the materials instead to collect themself or trade with the villagers (cause theyre the worst and all of us know it) thats why the barge and lookie lookie at my bookie are so profitable.

The shopping district it wasn't a thing before season 4, i dont really sure how it worked before, because i started watch in season six and sadly i have a boring adult life to saw the old seasons, but i assume it works in the same way that the trades the hermits does between them to accord a discount or a collab, and speak directly with the interested hermit or directly take it and pays what's considered it was fair, like iskall did with etho.

Like i said all what's happen in hermitcraft is a consensus, even the shopping district.

So yeah, that isnt a thing that would happen in a capitalism system, probably you would be dead, because "how are you dare to entered to my property", or in the jail, "because thats not yours".

So, what is hermitcraft?

For the surprise from much of you, Hermitcraft has an anarchist system.

What?! But their server is so peaceful, they don't steal from each other, they doesn't griefing, hows that possible?!

Well, the anarchism isn't really a violent political theory, at least in its beginning, actually anarchism is one of the most peaceful theories i studied, thats why i dont really thing it will worked in our society, but work in a server of 24 friends. Its too idealist.

I don't really study all of the thoughts corrents of anarchism because they are a lot. But the one we are interested is one of original thought corrent, The Mutualism, this in contrast with their cousin Communism doesn't believes the private property was something bad and considered like one of the rights from the individual, but different as capitalism because like i said before it wasn't sacred and communal things will exist to help others to start or recover.

Proudhon, one of it intellectuals, considered not paid for the work of the other it was a form to violate their liberties and feel horrofied with Marx when he said we have to abolish the private property.

The mutualists believes that each person should possess a means of production, either individually or collectively, and the products obtained would be trade in the market for the amount equivalent of their work.

This sound familiar, isnt it? Hermitcraft works in this way.

The thing with anarchism is they don't believes in a government over the people. And the hermits doesn't have one, yeah there's Scar being the mayor, but he isnt have a power over the rest and only is in charge of the "cowmercial district" even aquatown isn't part of his jurisdiction, his function is more of organization, like when we put a friend in charge to organizing part of a roadtrip.

It's the same with Xisuma figure, we all put him in a position of the admin of hermitcraft, but the truth is he isnt the only one with admin commands (but apparently some or all of them losed their admin status, at least in one of the last tango's streams, he hasnt it anymore) and various hermits said that he is more like an ambassador of them in the legal things of the server.

The hermits take all of they decisions in group and in the majority of things all of them needs to be agreed with the decision or they simple doesn't do it. And this is a characteristic of the mutualism because for them anyone are over the other.

And if you aren't already bored at this point and you put attention to what i wrote of the concept of private property in the mutualism, you would see it is practically the way hermitcraft works. They make their bases and farms, recolect resources and sell what they don't will use, buy mostly to save time and paid for the price what they considered fair. Yeah i know sometimes they do some farm specifically for one shop, but this is more "yeah, this is my thing" (Tango and Iron; Ren and wood) or a division of activities "if you do that, i do this".

The perfect utopia.

What about the Dsmp?

If you do it to here, congratulations.

So what about the Dsmp, i entered here because i want to read of them and the only thing i read was about hermitcraft.

Well, the Dsmp only entered in the equation because much of you said they were an anarchist server, but i see it more like a "failed state" and when i was talked with an exprofessor he agreed with me.

I know the term of failed state is controversial and is almost obsolete, but is the best way to describe the server and stop said it is anarchist.

So why failed state and not an anarchist state? Because they have a government (or apparently multiples) a failed one, but is there, if it were an anarchist server wouldn't have one.

Usually the failed states are known for being violent and volatile places in which ones their governments can't provides the basics to their people to live, normally are places with ethnics conflicts, civil wars, authoritarian governments or states in wars. The most common examples are Haití, Somalia or Syria.

And i am sure you can see the similarities with the Dsmp, so yeah, theyre chaotic but not anarchist.

The wars ruined the stability from the server, have a multiple sides and a megalomaniac for admin, but the goverment still there and they are fighting for the power wich wouldn't happen if the server were anarchist because anarchism don't believe the power should be possess for someone.

The server simply is failed state wich struggles under a violent fight for power.

--------------------------------------------------

If you read this far, you're a hero and had my gratitude for read my useless thoughts. Maybe some day i do it other overanalysis of this servers. I hope you enjoyed and dont confused so much.

Thanks for read.

And if there are some angry economist with me for "misrepresent" the capitalist i am completely open to a debate, my only condition is it would be in chilean spanish ;)

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Victor Valentine Card story ‘‘Seeking for what’s frightening’’

Translation of Victor Valentine’s 4* ‘’Gothic Halloween’’ card story from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’.

Gray: Uwah, amazing… Did you make this, Victor-san…?

Victor: Yes, this robot was built by me. I’m occupied with pouring all my time into producing these for the upcoming Halloween League.

Gray:  I had assumed you were leaning more towards biochemistry… But to be able to build robots too, that’s seriously amazing...

Victor: As you thought my area of expertise is chemistry, however if I had to be honest, I barely have the confidence to manufacture these… 

Victor: And on top of it, I had been also struggling with the design itself...

Gray: Eh… Wondering if it has enough punch to it, you mean… I already think it’s scary enough as is though....

Victor: Adding that pinch of “scary” has been considerably difficult. I’ve been making these as requested by Marion, but as far as the details go, I’ve only received how it should be thematically based on “evil spirits of Halloween”.

Victor: Naturally I have referred to literature to form a general outline on the matter, but what traits resemble an “evil spirit”, about it having a factor of “spookiness” to it...  No matter how far I go with investigating the matter, I simply cannot draw the line where it’d be most suitable.

Gray: Like evil spirits… spookiness….

Victor: What is your impression of it, Gray? Do you think it’s able to represent those traits of an “evil spirit”?

Gray: Eh? Eeeh… uh, um…

Victor: Please do not hold yourself back, and be as candid as you can.

Gray: Be as candid as I can… Right, right...

Gray: Whether or not it looks like one, I can say that it’s absolutely close but… Um… on the contrary, it might actually be a bit too scary... 

Gray: H-how do I say this… It’s like originally you were going for CERO A but ended up heading towards CERO D instead…?

Victor: CERO……? What may that be?

Gray: Ah… awawah, sorry…. I used a game rating system for scale… a Japanese one too…

Gray: The Halloween League is an event that children will attend, in terms of gaming that would be for an event for all ages...

Gray: But, as of now it feels more that it’s heading towards a more mature audience… So I was thinking all like, how about aiming for a younger one instead~... but please don’t mind it too much...

Victor: Hmm, I see…That is very interesting, or I should rather say an intriguing point of view.

Victor: I will do as you said and make an attempt to aim for a younger demographic, however with how it has been currently going, I don’t quite have the grasp on what I should do to change it.

Victor: If you don’t mind, could you tell me more about video games for all ages to use as a reference point going forward?

Gray: !! O-ofcourse…!

-

Victor: Hooh.... Even though it’s shortly summed up as for all ages, there seems to be quite a variety of video games.

Gray: For now I kept it limited and looked up horror games that came to mind… You’d come across even more games if you were to look it up

Gray: Uuum… if you’re looking for a game that has enemies that are “evil spirit”-like, then maybe this one…?

Victor: Yes, that kind of caricature is good. It gives an impression closely resembling the ones in animation for children. 

Gray: P-personally I think it’s good if it’s as scary as these enemy characters here but… That is for you to decide...

Victor: Hmm…. If I were to judge from your perspective, would this be more scarier?

Gray: Eh? Yes… it, would be….?

Gray: I feel, that the difference is pretty obvious but… you don’t seem to think so, Victor-san?

Victor: Indeed. Even though we’re going in a different direction, I don’t feel that any of them are frightening, thus making it difficult to judge.

Gray: R-right…

Gray: Uh… I’m just asking this out of curiosity but… Is there, something that you’re scared of, Victor-san…?

Victor: Something that I’m scared of?

Gray: Ah, aaah, uuum, it’s just… it’s okay if it’s too hard to answer, or if you don’t want to! I suddenly asked something weird anyway, I’m sorry….

Victor: Fufu, what are you apologizing for? I don’t believe it was odd by any means.

Victor: Something I’m scared of… you ask? I haven’t played any video games before so on that matter I have nothing to say, and in regards to horror movies I don’t recall being frightened once. 

Gray: Eh… so you’re like, totally fine with ghosts and demons and all that…?

Victor: More that I don’t believe in such things due to my point of view as a scientist, rather than being fine with it.

Victor: Well, realistically speaking “Ghosts believing scientists” such as Nova are not too uncommon out there.

Victor: I do want to believe in the possibility of it… Unfortunately, I have yet to see a theory that justifies it to begin with. 

Gray: Wah… you’re amazing, Victor-san…. Makes me a bit embarrassed given how I accidentally believe in anything...

Victor: No, I wouldn’t say that I am. I do occasionally envy those who are able to simply enjoy horror movies as is.

Gray: Is that so…?

Victor: Do you have any issues when it comes to horror and occult, Gray?

Gray: Aah, no… I’ve built up a tolerance for it because of games that are full of it...

Gray: Besides, I think… humans are scarier than any ghost or demon, 100 times more scarier even….

Victor: Human themselves…. For example, such as Asch Albright?

Gray: !! Eh, eeeeh…. yes… His name alone makes me sweat bullets, weirdly enough...

Gray: But, not just A….sch, but I’m scared of coming in contact with other people in general...

Gray: Even before talking to them actually, like what if they hate me…. what if they think I’m weird… that’s all I end up thinking about

Victor: Which means that you are currently feeling the same sense of dread when talking to me this moment?

Gray: T-that’s right… Aaah, but, you’re not scary Victor-san… Um, it’s just...

Victor: Yes, I understand. I’ve mentioned it before, but I don’t believe there’s anything odd about you, Gray. 

Gray: V-Victor-san….!

Victor: My apologies for getting us sidetracked. Could you lend me your wisdom for a little longer? 

Gray: Ah, yes… yes of course!

--

Nova: Oooh, looks like you made a lotta progress~ Making ghouls and all♪

Victor: I was able to because of the advice I had received from Gray, and so I was finally able to see the light.

Nova: Good pals with Gray-kun now, eh? Well with Ren-kun too but, lately more people have been dropping by your lab. Lookit this celebrity here~♪

Victor: ...You’re surprisingly in a good mood today, aren’t you now?

Nova: Mmh, haven’t slept so I’m feeling somewhat all over the place

Nova: I’ve been absorbed into making these robots too, and before I knew it three whole days had passed~ That scared me real good, yanno

Nova: Wait a second, nobody came to see me in these three days….!? I wanna be a celeb tooooo~!

Victor: How about resting your mind and body, rather than dawdling around here?

Nova: Naaw~ The adrenaline’s coursing through my veins, not feeling tired in the slightest~ 

Nova: Whatever you say, making these robots is right where I belong. Had lotsa fun doing it too

Nova: Obviously I’m paying enough attention to safety and all that, but there’s more space to feel at ease compared to what I usually do for work….

Nova: Not that I’m forgetting substance research by any means, it’s just pretty nerve-racking when combined with making assets and tools for the heroes to fight with 

Nova: Didn’t mean to pay that much mind to it, still it’s a heavy responsibility to have one’s life in your hands... 

Nova: Makes me go all like, damn, this fear of failure and what to do about it sure is always growing ain’t it now!~ like some kinda realisation each time, yanno

Victor: ….., fear….

Nova: You’re always doing such a fantastic job, me~

Nova: A Summerfieldtastic job~....

Victor: …….

Nova: Eh, no response!? Here I was putting all my energy into being an idiot, and instead of straight manning me, you straight up ignore me!?

Victor: Aah, my apologies… There was something on my mind.

Victor: What did you say?

Nova: I-I didn’t say a word! Vic’s a dummy! I’m gonna go to my room and sleep! Good-NIGHT!!!

Victor: …..?

-

Fun trivia corner:

The Japanese game rating goes from CERO A to D, and Z. All ages would be CERO A, for 12 years old and above CERO B, for 15 years old and above CERO C, for 17 years old and above CERO D, and at last CERO Z for 18 and above. The European one is PEGI with age specific ratings (PEGI-3, or PEGI-18) and the American one is ESRB, with letter codes such as T for teen, M for mature, and so on. Helios is rated as 12+ on the Apple app store, that would be CERO A, PEGI-12 or ESRB T.

[biscuit-buddy]

kuzumochi. (18+)

Endeavor x Reader (Smut, Birthday Fic, 3.1k)

A/N: holy shit guys this got so much longer than expected i’m sorry if it drags at all i just had so much i wanted to get out! Also its 11:22pm so its technically still his birthday. ha. 

What do you get for the man who could already have whatever he wanted at the snap of his fingers? Being the number one pro hero meant that Enji already received truckloads of expensive things, tickets to exclusive events, and the newest technologies simply because of his status. You knew this because everything he received went through you after being thoroughly checked at security. Eight months as his personal secretary offered you a glimpse into his extravagant world and honestly left you with a small bite of bitter jealousy. Some of the things that passed over your desk could pay the rent in your measly apartment for the next year, and you were sure he never gave most of it more than a second glance. 

Your pen tapped lightly against your bottom lip as you stared at the pad of sticky notes on your desk, nothing more than illegible lines, dots, and scribbles covered the top one. With a sigh of frustration, you detach it from the stack, crumple it and toss it in the trash. Today was the first day of August, and the mental countdown to your boss’ birthday plagued your thoughts. While your job was comfortable as is, the cold treatment from the man you worked for grated on your every nerve. You’d think after nearly a year in his employment he’d begin to warm up to you, maybe even bother to remember your name. This was your chance to finally stand out to him if only you could think of something that the hero could possibly want for his birthday. 

As much as he’d probably like a break or a vacation, you were in no position to provide that for him. He obviously didn’t want for anything material either. Does he even have a sweet tooth? You wondered silently as the tapping of your pen resumed against your face. I can’t even imagine a guy like him eating a cupcake. You know what? Actually I can and it’s hilarious. I bet his mustache would burn the frosting and-

“Ahem” Well, speak - or think- of the devil and he shall appear. Endeavor himself stood at your desk with an impatient look on his stern face. The goofy smile you’d been developing at the thought of the massive man eating sweets was quickly wiped off and your back straightened at an uncomfortable pace. 

“Daydreaming on the job?” he asked, but you got the feeling he didn’t really want an answer, so you just bow your head in apology. In an embarrassed mumble, you replied, “Sorry sir, won’t happen again” and he gave a huff in response, not unlike that of a great dragon. You held back another smile at the fleeting thought of smoke puffing out of his nose in discontent, as he handed you a manila envelope stuffed to the brim with some kind of paperwork. 

“I need this hand-delivered to the Hawks Hero Office immediately. This is sensitive information I’m trusting you with.” You gingerly accepted the packet, but couldn’t avoid the brief touch of his massive hand sliding past yours. You noted briefly just how warm they were, though you shouldn’t really be surprised. Courier work isn’t exactly in your job description but lately, you’ve been desperate to suck up anyways, plus some fresh air couldn’t hurt. You stood and gave one more quick bow, “of course sir, I’d be happy to deliver it” He seemed content with your answer and turned to walk through the frosted glass double doors that led into his office without so much as another word. 

Honestly, that had gone better than most of your interactions in the past. Pleased with the slight development in your relationship you gatherers your purse and the envelope and headed for the elevator. Floors passed monotonously as you continued to float gift ideas around in your head, this was looking to be harder than you initially thought. 

Once the lift reached the lobby you made your exit, pushing past a crowd of workers who seemed to just be returning from lunch. They laughed boisterously and made no notice of you squeezing around them. Finally, you made it to the front door of the Endeavor Agency and swiped your employee ID  badge on the terminal next to the front door alerting the system that you had left the building. Fresh warm air tickled your skin as you made your way onto the sidewalk and began the trek to Hawks’ Agency. It wasn’t particularly far, only a few blocks away and the route was dotted with storefronts boasting all kinds of wares from cake to clothes to flowers.

In theory, one of the displays you passed should have given you an idea but once more you found yourself coming up blank as you approached your destination. The young man at the front desk smiled politely when you entered  “Hi there, do you have an appointment?” his eyes flickered between you and the computer screen in front of him. 

“Actually I’m here on delivery for Endeavor” you waved the yellow folder a bit to accentuate your statement “something about sensitive information?” This really wasn’t part of the job you signed up for. Face to face interactions with strangers is so damn awkward. Luckily the receptionist probably dealt with people like you all day and didn’t bat an eye before saying

“Of course, his office is on floor 22 but if he’s not in there, try the roof. I’ll let security know you’re heading up” and he began tapping at the keyboard with one hand while making a ‘go on’ gesture toward the elevator with the other. You thought about boarding but instead made your way to the staircase. I already walked this far, might as well make it a cardio day, and give myself a good excuse to order takeout for dinner. You were truly a genius, maybe it was time to apply at NASA instead of working your ass off for Mr. Hothead. 

Twenty-two floors was a bit more of a workout than you thought it would be, and when you finally arrived at the top you were mildly sweaty cheeks ruddy and more out of breath than you’d like to admit so you take a moment to calm down before opening the doors and walking past the security guard. He gave you a sideways glance but kept his mouth shut as you knocked twice on the office doors. 

The lack of a verbal response clued you into the fact that he was likely on the roof just as the receptionist had said, so you hung a left and let yourself sprint up one more flight of stairs. Once you made it through the door marked ‘rooftop’ you spotted the winged hero perched near the railing. You announced yourself so as not to startle him,

“Excuse me, Mr. Hawks? I’m here on behalf of Endeavor, he asked me to deliver this to you as soon as possible”

He wheeled around at the sound of your voice, and his eyes lit up with amusement at your disheveled appearance. “Hey, thanks! I was kind of expecting the big man himself but you’re certainly a nice surprise” he winked and took the folder from your hands “Nobody told me Endeavor hired such a cutie to be his secretary, ya think I have any chance of poaching you from him?” Despite your earlier thoughts about NASA, you had no intention of leaving your current position so you just laughed. 

“I’m flattered but unfortunately I’ve got some oddly placed sense of loyalty for him” 

“Oh I get it” he cocked an eyebrow “I would too if I was you, the guy’s a size queen’s dream after all. Gotta love the whole naughty secretary dynamic too”

You sputtered at his bluntness “Oh god no nothing like that I-”

“Aw, I’m just teasing kid, how couldn’t I when you come up here looking like that” He gestured to your flustered appearance and you immediately regretting taking the stairs moments ago “Besides, I’d be surprised if you got him to warm up to you enough to remember your name let alone bend you over his desk” He was spot on, you had to sigh at that. 

“You’re right there, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t even notice if there was an entirely different person sitting at my desk tomorrow” 

“Heh, yeah, sounds like him. But you know, his birthday is coming up maybe a gift will put you in his good graces” another effortless wink was shot your way and despite him being the one with wings, the attention really ruffled your feathers. It’s like he had a secret mind-reading quirk or something. 

“I thought of that, but I have no clue what a guy like him would even want. It’s not like shopping for your mom, where you can just give her a picture frame that says ‘Live Laugh Love’ and she cherishes it forever ya know?” Hawks snorts in amusement at your comparison. You’re right and you’ll defend that if he asks, but he doesn’t. 

“In that case, I’d be willing to let you in on a little secret, some little known Endeavor lore, a true exclusive if you ask me”

“I’m not a tabloid Hawks, just tell me already” this guy messes around a lot for being the number two hero, its an incredibly stark contrast from his only superior.

“Okay, okay, you gotta lean in though, he’d kill me if I leaked something so personal” you lean in closer as instructed and he whispers into your ear, “his favorite food... is kuzumochi” You pull back in visible disappointment. 

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, he goes crazy for the stuff. Honest to god I’ve seen him inhale an entire batch in like five minutes. You want him to notice you? Then this is the best possible way, trust me.” and for some crazy reason you do. This could actually work, if it’s really as much of a secret as the blonde claims, you’d certainly stand out among the other gifts he’s sure to get. 

You thank Hawks and turn to leave with a newfound confidence in this new plan, but not before he makes you promise to tell him how it goes after the big day. As you exit the winged hero’s agency building the work phone you were assigned chimes with a new email letting you know that you can go straight home after the drop-off, and your grin widens. Even better, now you have time to stop at the grocery store on the way home, the decision already made to go big or go home. You were bound and determined to make the kuzumochi from scratch, and it was gonna be the best damn thing your boss had ever tasted. 

*******************************

The rest of the week dragged on in a painfully average way, the only thing keeping your mood afloat was the surprise dish you had been working on every night. You’d gone through multiple test batches, determined to get the flavor and consistency just right. The work paid off on the night of the 7th, just in time when you completed your best batch yet. With a content sigh, you washed your hands and packaged up the kuzumochi like a damn professional. Finally, you were able to take a long hot shower and climb into bed early with the anticipation of tomorrow bubbling in your chest.

Morning came quickly and your daily routine was done with care, then you grabbed the gift and began the short commute to work. Brain on autopilot, it seemed like no time at all until you were seated at your desk and logging in to the company’s computer system. The pristinely packaged gift was nestled into the corner of your desk, waiting for the perfect moment. 

This moment came just before lunch when a mildly scuffed up Endeavor breezed past you in a huff and headed straight into his office. This is it you thought Sure, he’s a little pissy at the moment but this’ll cheer him right up. And with that, you knocked once on the office door and peeked in. The sight of him slumped in the leather office chair in front of the massive floor to ceiling window, eyebrow cocked at your intrusion made your heart jump just a little. How can one man be so damn intimidating? You cleared your throat and began to speak with entirely false confidence.

“Sorry for barging in sir, I just wanted to give you a birthday gift. It’s not much, but I hope you’ll accept it” the whole situation reminded you of confessing to your crush with a box of chocolates in middle school, and it’s funny how some things never truly change. You presented the box to him and to your surprise he actually reached out to take it. 

His scrutinizing glare never let up as he untied the silky ribbon and lifted the lid, but once he recognized the contents his expression shifted quickly to one of surprise. 

“Is this... kuzumochi?” His gaze fell on you and it had nearly physical weight.

“Yes sir, I have it on uhm, good authority that it’s one of your favorites” should you admit that Hawks told you this bit of information? 

“Why?” 

“I’m sorry? Its… well, it’s your birthday, right? I wanted to get you something that would stand out.” It felt silly to admit to his face. 

“And why would you need to stand out, Y/N?” You had to keep your jaw from hitting the floor when he so casually dropped your name, the name you were sure he hadn’t even known. He decided to let you mull over the question as he took a bite of your carefully crafted treat, you could hear a small satisfied hum in his throat and it gave you chills. He beckoned you closer, “it’s delicious, would you like a taste?” when you hesitated he added, “it would be awfully rude to refuse your boss on his birthday, especially after all the trouble you’ve gone to making these”

A heavy step carries you over to his desk, like lead weights attached to your ankles. As you approach he rises out of the chair, a new unreadable look replaced the one of irritation you had been so used to all these months. “Come closer,” he said when you stopped just short of the desk. He’d never spoken to you like this before, and it sent chills down your spine. A few more steps took you around the desk to where he stood, and you barely flinched when he placed a large palm on the side of your jaw, the other held a piece of kuzumochi near your mouth. His intent was clear, he was going to feed it to you by hand. “Open” he commanded softly and you couldn’t deny him if you wanted to, so you complied.

The sweetness melted over your tongue, you truly had outdone yourself here. And once the piece was securely in your mouth, a warm thumb brushed over your bottom lip where his eyes also happened to be resting, completely content in watching you chew and swallow. The intimacy of the situation wasn’t lost on you. You recalled something that Hawks had said about a ‘sexy secretary dynamic’ and once again he was right. When the taste had completely faded from your senses, you looked up to finally meet your boss’ eye. The intensity in them shook you to your very core.

“I’ll ask you again, why do you think you need to stand out?” at this, his hand dropped from your lip down to your waist “Were you hoping for some kind of special attention?” the depth of his voice made your thighs clench, knowing full well where this conversation was heading. He noticed the action and quirked his lips into the faintest smile, one full of mischievous intent. One large step forward for him pushed you back onto the sturdy wooden desk. “I can’t possibly disappoint my favorite little employee then, can I?”

You barely had time to brace your arms behind you before his hand moved over again to res on the top of your thigh, and the one that remained on your jaw guided you into a kiss. It began soft, Endeavor was no fool. He tested the waters, your willingness, before jumping right in. The second you started to kiss back it was full speed ahead. The man was experienced for sure, he knew exactly how to coax your mouth into a dance with his own. Once his tongue pushed into your mouth it was all over for you, you’ve become a slave to the feeling.

All too quickly he broke the kiss, and you had half a mind to whine at the loss of contact. When you opened your eyes you noticed he was leaned over towards the box of kuzumochi that started everything. Odd time for a snack but okay. And when he returned to face you he did have another piece in his mouth, as well as the red ribbon you used to tie it in his hands. Your mouths met once again, this time he pushed the food into yours with his tongue. While you’re distracted with the odd sensation of kissing and eating at the same time you hardly notice the way he pushed both your arms up above your head and deftly tied your wrists together with the ribbon. When he was sure they were secure he let them drop and find a home around the back of his neck.   

You swallow the kuzumochi just as he turns up the intensity, completely claiming your mouth with his own. This time, he pushes you even further back until you’re laid completely flat on the desk. His fingers rake up and down your sides while his hips press against yours. You can feel his growing excitement pushed up against you and the feeling has you nearly moaning. Nearly isn’t good enough got the number one though, and he starts trailing kisses down your jaw and further until he reaches the junction of your neck where he bites and sucks like his life depends on it. This finally brings forth the noise he was chasing, and when you go to cover your mouth from embarrassment is when you finally realize that your wrists are bound. 

Your boss’ attention is directed elsewhere though, as he reaches a hand under your skirt, past you panties, and begins to stroke your folds. You both realized how wet you’ve become at the same time, and now it’s his turn to moan. One large digit enters you as his mouth travels further south, now nipping at your collarbones and chest. Your wrists slip from around his neck and his free hand strokes upwards from your side to push your arms up over your head. Completely exposed to him he continues to ravish your skin and curl his finger in and out of your cunt. Quickly you come undone around his finger and he removes his mouth from you long enough to drag the digit along his own tongue. 

“You’re even sweeter than the kuzumochi, here” he pushes the finger into your mouth and you diligently suck the rest of your juices from it. “Good girl.” The praise itself makes you moan once again. When he’s satisfied with your work he begins to remove his pants and you finally get a glimpse of what you’re working with. You nearly get up and walk out right then, because the man is massive.

“Just relax, I’ll start slow” he reassures and stays true to his word. After a long moment of adjusting he’s fully sheathed inside you and you swear this is what heaven feels like. The moment he begins to move you know you were wrong. If that was heaven you must have finally ascended even further, to wherever gods go when they die. Endeavor fucks you hard and slow against his desk until your eyes are rolling back in your head and you can see every constellation on your eyelids. And when it’s over, you’re shaking like a leaf.

He pulls out, not giving a second glance to the fluids leaking out of you and onto the floor, and begins to untie your wrists. Both of them are red and raw from the friction of the ribbon, and he places a tender kiss on each of the marks. One more kiss on the bruised patch he left on your neck, then he’s hoisting you upwards in a sitting position. Still unsteady but slowly coming back down to earth, you feel a soft tissue wipe at the mess between your legs while a strong hand continues to keep you upright rests at your side. 

When you look up to meet his gaze, your confidence is no longer an act. “Happy birthday,” you say and for once he breaks out a genuine smile that makes him look ten years younger.

As he rests his forehead against yours he replies, “It’s not over yet” but before you can question his meaning the intercom system next to his computer rings and a voice announces “Mr. Hawks is on his way up, sir” and you choke. You did promise you’d tell him how things went.